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profhedgehog.bsky.social
171 posts 72 followers 26 following
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Posts 35 Comments 15

I age a little bit each day so I can build up an immunity.

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

There’s something unusual about Al Yankovic. He’s odd in some way. Strange. There’s only one word to describe him: abnormal

submitted 2 days ago • 196 comments

When you're in the bath and your belly button becomes a little tide pool.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I've worked hard all my life and, by golly, I'm not sure all that was necessary.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

gotta carry a small object around with you at all times to fiddle with somewhat memorably. then when you're dying you can clutch it to your heart significantly before placing it in the hand of the heartbroken person watching you go. that kind of move doesn't happen by accident. it takes work.

submitted 9 days ago • 12 comments

HELLO???? www.youtube.com/watch?v=80is...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

the gem on my circlet is not made from ring pop candy, the ants in my hair are simply the result of my powerful ant summoning magic.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I want my coffee to be like an android's chest: Ro-bust.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Everyone always asks "what's updog?" but no one ever asks "How's updog?"

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

"No cap" is short for "no capillaries"

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Tik Tok is just America's Funniest Home Videos with an AI simulation replacing the original flesh Bob Saget

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

We don’t hear much about the West Pole, where Cowboy Santa lives. Probably because of all the people he’s shot

submitted 24 days ago • 61 comments

.pdf was a mistake

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

I'm gonna kintsugi the liberty bell.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

sometimes i get spam messages saying "want to grow your followers?" don't worry, i always say no. but i do wonder what kind of serums they would be applying to you guys

submitted 26 days ago • 11 comments

Oh, just one more thing, then I'll be out of your hair.... henshin

submitted 34 days ago • 23 comments

I have developed a new technique that makes me three times as strong for five minute, but afterwards I get kinda itchy.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

whatever. you're just mad because my body immediately located my severed head and placed it back upon my neck stump with dignity and grace while yours stumbled around blindly like a buffoon and when it finally found your head it put it on backwards and people laughed

submitted 38 days ago • 6 comments

It is my dream to be the first atheist to make it in the heady world of Christian rock

submitted 38 days ago • 1 comment

Power Word: Aspersions

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

You wear a tinfoil hat because you fear government mind control. I wear a tinfoil hat so my powerful brain doesn't fry my laptop. We are not the same.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Bad luck in my future? Nice try, fortune teller. You're tower card is no match for my Blue Eyes White Dragon!

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Consider a trolley problem. On one track is every single person. On the other track is no one at all. So when you ask me why I'm building a cage to catch Death, really....

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

an icecream sundae wouldn't fix me but it would kintsugi me probably I think

submitted 41 days ago • 2 comments

It blows my mind how all of those Greek statues were once real, living people. So much history would have been lost to us without those three incorrigible Gorgons, and I’m so grateful for them

submitted 42 days ago • 9 comments

You can poke 10 dangerous things in your life but only two very dangerous things.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

I asked my friends to do a non biased study and apparently anyone who likes your posts is a bot or social climber and anyone who likes my posts is a well rounded connoisseur of art looking for a joyful respite from making the world a better place. Wild stuff.

submitted 42 days ago • 4 comments

When a cheese factory in France explodes, da brie goes everywhere.

submitted 44 days ago • 11 comments

I have fewer followers than I deserve (I am a good boi), but more than my posts deserve (every one is indescribably wretched).

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Fun fact: the idea that werewolves transform under the full moon originates from the movie "Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man"

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Phone numbers are great for keeping your phones numb

submitted 47 days ago • 9 comments

What is a man?: a miserable pile of meerkats!

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Stick my nose in your ear, so I can smell what you're hearing.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Weird that we have to say this, but the government doesn’t get to decide what gender a person is.

submitted 48 days ago • 545 comments

I tap three mana to go back to bed

submitted 48 days ago • 4 comments