prokopetz.bsky.social
Main site at https://prokopetz.net
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Your average CS major is not Neal Stephenson. Even Neal Stephenson isn't Neal Stephenson most days.
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Picture this as far as the eye can see:
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(3/3) It was the most magical experience of my life, and one I look back on with fond nostalgia, which probably explains a thing or two.
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(2/3) I just barely cleared the "you must be this tall to ride" sign, but I was tall for my age and the operators didn't give a shit, so I was well below the safe weight; when my car hit the big drop I was lifted from my seat and hung suspended in mid air, held in place by my grip on the safety bar.
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(2/2) ... but fixing it with the 2023 movie design SPECIFICALLY is like "okay, your Princess can emote, but her default expression will now be the Dreamworks Face".
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(I think the worst offenders are the ones where your character's visual position snaps to the grid but the position of their hitbox doesn't. I will literally kill you.)
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If your precision platformer uses chunky pixel art but DOESN'T have movement and collision snap to the grid, you've misunderstood the purpose of your aesthetic choices. You want me to make pixel-perfect jumps in an engine where whether or not I get spiked depends on sub-pixel bullshit? Fuck off.
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Based on this particular set of comments at the time of this posting, I think it's actually just you.
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I don't mean "missed potential", either. Give me media where you can't tell if it's fulfilling its potential because its creative agenda is indecipherable. Media whose author has clearly mistaken some deeply personal experience for universal. Media that was a bad idea in both concept and execution.
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(No, I'm not messing with the local ecology. I live in Canada – they're invasive here.)
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If your standard for "broken and unhinged" is "wants to fuck a cartoon character", I have bad news for you.
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A walkthrough in the form of a piece of interactive fiction which first requires you to answer a series of ethical riddles and personality-assessing questionnaires to establish that you DESERVE to be helped. It lies to you on purpose if it determines that you're a Capricorn.
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A walkthrough which appears to be a simple text document, but whose advice is subtly wrong in ways that will render the game unwinnable hours later. The real walkthrough is encoded in the bad ASCII art that heads each section, whose seemingly random character choices are actually a cunning cipher.
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Like, yeah, not all media is autobiographical, and it's a mistake to treat it like it is – but if your favourite media is *proper* fucked up, I shouldn't need to read the author's biography to figure out what's wrong with them.
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That one's not always problematic, given that a. the original title is still searchable, and b. using the localised title implies that you're specifically talking about the localised version, which may not be correct in all cases.
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This story takes place in the foot fetish universe where the portal gun from "Portal" is commonplace technology. What? No, the portals do not at any point enable or facilitate the foot stuff. They're just there.