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prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
Humorisht the thing with the stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ephqjyhfcguwb7drch63q5ym/feed/aaadc5mzkd2g4
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What's wrong with echo chambers? Echo chambers are amazing, say people who enjoy safe spaces and bats

[game show announcer voice] who’s ready to vanish into a mysterious fog

WHO WANTS SOME GOOD NEWS?

Always leave them wanting m

Before you get too invested in this friendship just know I'm a pizza blotter

GLORIA ESTEFAN: turn the beat around DRUMMER: let me see what i can do GLORIA ESTEFAN: turn it upside down DRUMMER: bitch wtf

Let's skip the middle man and make orange juice flavored toothpaste already.

good to know that at least someone liked The Alto Knights

I like that Robert DeNiro movie in which he plays a mobster

It's bullshit that whaling vessels get harpoon guns and I don't.

Not to get all political on here but the word 'gush' is infinitely worse than 'moist'.

(when the bill at a restaurant is brought) me: *neurospicy* i got this friend: okay. cool. thank you (fifteen minutes later alone in my car) me: i GOT this I got this I got THIS i got THis i GoT ThIS

It’s day five in Occupied California, and people are engaging in dangerous behavior like walking their dogs and eating lunch. Thank goodness the marines are on their way to put a stop to this.

No one is reciprocating my "wazzzzzups?" at work. Is this no longer a thing?

The Rehearsal but for just getting out of bed

Saw that CNN has a new show called Eva Longoria: Searching for Spain and I really hope it’s just her pointing to places on a map and someone saying no

me: may i have one vitamin vitamin bottle: how about nine me: just one please vitamin bottle: eleven it is!

jellyfish aren’t either of those things

People say that ICE agents are animals, but even animals know they shouldn’t shit where they sleep.

@mommunism.bsky.social Vetted by Molly Shah If this message reaches your heart, I kindly ask you to be a part of our hope.🫂 Can you contribute whatever you can to help us get meat meal? One kilo of meat costs $140😥😥 A simple donation could make my children so happy, Please.🥹🙏🙏 gofund.me/979bb6de

Probably my least favorite way to be torn is to shreds

i used the contact form via the Governor's website. I selected "Immigration Issue" and "Request for Help" in the drop downs. My message was something like "Please get ya ass down here to Los Angeles to tell these feds they are not welcome here." Perhaps you would like to do this too! www.gov.ca.gov

I like that Robert DeNiro movie in which he plays a mobster

Imagine marrying someone and finding out they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

I'm quite partial to being torn into giblets, personally.

learning ventriloquism just to scare the shit out of my dentist

Probably my least favorite way to be torn is to shreds

Me turning around dramatically in a chair but it's a normal chair so it's a lot of furious scootching until I eventually fall over

JUST so you know I have a lot of real friends and I could hang out with them ANY TIME I want to

Imagine marrying someone and finding out they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

THOSE WHO KNOW WHAT IS GOOD WILL MAKE SURE TONY IS LOVED FOR HIS BDAY 🎉🎂🥳 @bornmiserable.bsky.social is A TREASURE and we are all so fortunate to share this awful world with him

23andMe sounds like a dating website run by Leonardo DiCaprio

people who say it’s always darkest before the dawn: congratulations, you’ve discovered sunrise