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prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
Humorisht the thing with the stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ephqjyhfcguwb7drch63q5ym/feed/aaadc5mzkd2g4
2,656 posts 22,094 followers 1,181 following
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Posts 36 Comments 14

People say that ICE agents are animals, but even animals know they shouldn’t shit where they sleep.

submitted 1 hour ago • 15 comments

@mommunism.bsky.social Vetted by Molly Shah If this message reaches your heart, I kindly ask you to be a part of our hope.🫂 Can you contribute whatever you can to help us get meat meal? One kilo of meat costs $140😥😥 A simple donation could make my children so happy, Please.🥹🙏🙏 gofund.me/979bb6de

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

Probably my least favorite way to be torn is to shreds

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

i used the contact form via the Governor's website. I selected "Immigration Issue" and "Request for Help" in the drop downs. My message was something like "Please get ya ass down here to Los Angeles to tell these feds they are not welcome here." Perhaps you would like to do this too! www.gov.ca.gov

submitted 18 hours ago • 5 comments

I like that Robert DeNiro movie in which he plays a mobster

submitted 1 day ago • 33 comments

Imagine marrying someone and finding out they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

I'm quite partial to being torn into giblets, personally.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

learning ventriloquism just to scare the shit out of my dentist

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

Probably my least favorite way to be torn is to shreds

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

Me turning around dramatically in a chair but it's a normal chair so it's a lot of furious scootching until I eventually fall over

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

JUST so you know I have a lot of real friends and I could hang out with them ANY TIME I want to

submitted 3 days ago • 16 comments

Imagine marrying someone and finding out they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

THOSE WHO KNOW WHAT IS GOOD WILL MAKE SURE TONY IS LOVED FOR HIS BDAY 🎉🎂🥳 @bornmiserable.bsky.social is A TREASURE and we are all so fortunate to share this awful world with him

submitted 3 days ago • 8 comments

23andMe sounds like a dating website run by Leonardo DiCaprio

submitted 20 days ago • 21 comments

people who say it’s always darkest before the dawn: congratulations, you’ve discovered sunrise

submitted 20 days ago • 7 comments

If they had started their band today they'd be called the Grateful Unalive

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

Genuinely heartwarming to see San Diego in national news outlets for this

submitted 7 days ago • 7 comments

Me turning around dramatically in a chair but it's a normal chair so it's a lot of furious scootching until I eventually fall over

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

Most relationships consist of one partner who can fall asleep immediately and one resentful insomniac

submitted 41 days ago • 17 comments

Don’t forget to spend a little too much time on your hair today so when you go outside, the humidity can turn it into a sewer rat’s ass.

submitted 7 days ago • 5 comments

If they had started their band today they'd be called the Grateful Unalive

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

If you hold a can of protein powder up to your ear you can hear a gym bro grunt

submitted 6 days ago • 4 comments

Soreen soreen soreen soooreeennn I'm begging of you bake some better malt bread.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

your honor, can we have court outside today

submitted 10 days ago • 12 comments

When Taco Bell removed Mexican pizza from its menu, I took a mental health day.

submitted 5 days ago • 23 comments

Not today Satan but we can put a pin in it and circle back around next week

submitted 44 days ago • 7 comments

It's true. Grunts get stored inside the molecular makeup of whey protein and BCAAS.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

In hell, all the Star Wars movies are overdubbed with a commentary track by Neil deGrasse Tyson.

submitted 154 days ago • 53 comments

If they're so smart why don't they cook themselves

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

Me: I wish I had a nickname. Coworker: You do.

submitted 174 days ago • 10 comments

If I ever found Ice Cube passed out in my kitchen, I’d just kick him under the fridge.

submitted 34 days ago • 6 comments

If you hold a can of protein powder up to your ear you can hear a gym bro grunt

submitted 6 days ago • 4 comments

picking up steam but so far it's not worth burning my hands

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

[running from the cops at night] *10 minutes into chase* DAMN THESE LIGHT UP SHOES.

submitted 16 days ago • 12 comments

Gabapentin would make a beautiful name for a baby girl

submitted 178 days ago • 17 comments

Mumford & Sons made music for people who needed theme music while they shop for slacks.

submitted 7 days ago • 10 comments