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quant.bsky.social
(insufferably)
440 posts 78 followers 40 following
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Posts 28 Comments 22

Pussy got me selfsame

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Overheard a couple youths on the train “Is jungle ever massive?” “No, I’m pretty sure jungle isn’t massive” “Let’s ask ChatGPT” The kids are not doing alright folks

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I pace around my penthouse apartment with a tumbler of whiskey, looking out over the city and thinking things like “how do buildings get up there? i guess cranes are taller and the cranes put them there. but how do the cranes get up there? bigger cranes, i suppose”

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Chthonic knowledge of which lane is fastest when

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

When I like your post, know that I’m reading it from the library while loudly slurping up a big bowl of spaghetti, sauce smeared all over my face and bib. Your post makes me guffaw and spill half-chewed pasta onto the leather-bound illuminated manuscript I have open in front of me

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

>looking for environmental restoration program >ask UN employee if their program is environmental restoration or subsidies for ranchers >she doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram >she laughs and says its a good program sir

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

Griffith from Berserk is on my train. In the modern day he’s mad tatted with an all-black hypebeast style, if you were wondering

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Hold on *taps earpiece* I’m getting word that the Chicago Pope used to ride around West Loop in a Slingshot, bumping *taps earpiece* yes, I’m hearing correctly that he was bumping Common

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Boss told me to figure out who got the jazz by EOD. It’s 3:30 and I still haven’t figured out who got the jazz 😭

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Guy who thinks it’s “Cheddar’s cheese”

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Not to be Gen X, but hose water smells so good…

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

if it becomes pee then a drink it be, but if it is pooed then youre havin food

submitted 16 days ago • 11 comments

How am I supposed to place derivative works like The Very Hungry Caterpillar At The Bakeshop or The Very Hungry Caterpillar’s Animal Colors into the tight timeline laid out for the caterpillar’s life in the original book? Alternate universe? What’s the backstory there? Is there a gritty reboot? Comi

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Chicago pope!!! Da Bears!!!!

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

It’s dickriding to approve a PR 

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

sucks that you have to post to get notifications

submitted 19 days ago • 4 comments

Not to be a victim but y’all can’t smoke nearly as fat as me

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

[Morpheus] You think that's hawk you're tuahng now?

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

There’s some saying about whether idle hands are the devil’s playthings… ahh, how does that one go, I can’t remember…

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Sending dnb to my zoomer friends and telling them it’s hyperpop so they like it

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

If the brown bear sees a red bird “looking at me,” shouldn’t the red bird just see the brown bear? Drawing this out into a 20min read in The Atlantic on why Americans are bad at math

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

some sort of being gained consciousness at this spot today

submitted 27 days ago • 3 comments

Flickering building top sign that says “Thresholds.” Some of y’all would probably go crazy over this looney tunes style

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I will not dunk. I will not post takes. I will not show you rage bait. Just posts from me, that’s all. Dick and balls. Not me my face when. You you the call the on the cell phone (drake rapper).

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Mom and dad are queering each other again 😢

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

slow news day

submitted 40 days ago • 1 comment

You need to be pure of heart to tail someone really close on the highway. Cynics fear getting brake-checked, they fear having to pay to fix the shitty Beamer they rear-end. Only those unafraid of betrayal are capable of going 90 so close behind you that you can’t even see their headlights

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

I’m like a Wasian LeBron James (I’m not Wasian or good at basketball; there’s a separate guy who is a Wasian LeBron James, and the two of us have similar taste in music and share a certain joie de vivre)

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments