rallyrabbit.bsky.social
𝒘𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒊𝒓... 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒅, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆~
heya! name's Mocha. lover of trains, virtual rallysport and stylized furries
B.C. born and raised, she/her 30 🏳️⚧️🐇
https://www.youtube.com/@TransCanadaLimited
337 posts
350 followers
70 following
Prolific Poster
Active Commenter
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Thank you... that means a lot. I'm really trying hard to improve everytime I hit the stages.
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I appreciate it... I am actually very proud of how I was able to adapt to most of the events, I really crushed it at some of the more technical mountain rallies.
but... brain loud... I feel like I'm not allowed to be proud of myself because I still messed up elsewhere. I hate it
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god, fuck mental health. I hate impostor syndrome. I'm so sick of how victory always feels hollow or undeserved no matter how hard I locked in and how well I drove to get it.
I just want to enjoy things, man...
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one thing leads to another and then very loud, very angry thoughts start ripping me to shreds all evening because "this is the one fucking thing you have left that you're supposed to be good at and you BLEW IT"
even though I fucking WON my FIRST TRY at the PRO DIFFICULTY in a BRAND NEW GAME...
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and like... logically? new game, new physics, new controls, new stages... of course i fucked up. I'd never experienced this game before tonight.
but calling myself "the rally rabbit", 5ish years experience... sometimes I get in my head that I'm supposed to Get It with racing games right out the gate
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I quickly shut down stream, and... I crashed. hard.
I felt like a fraud. I felt like I was disrespecting the sport by calling myself "the rally rabbit" while still making mistakes like I did. I felt like I was letting my audience and my whole community down, and I had wasted their whole evening
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since it was my first time ever playing the game, and I was fighting muscle memory all night, it should've felt amazing... but it didn't. it felt like a hollow victory because "it was only a single point" and "what about all the crashes" and "it was just against AI"
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hope you recover soon, bad mental health days suuuuuck
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This week's fanart spotlight is a commission from several years back by Kammy, of Mocha flying her colours for Pride! (she and I both identify as nonbinary girls!)
As always, feel free to pop by while I'm live this week, I'd love to see you! 💚 Hope you have a fantastic and safe week out there~
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good luck!!!!
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waaaaa
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This week's schedule features art of Mocha's old design from way back, by my and Jackie's husband @nairsame13.bsky.social 💚
As always, I hope you all have a fantastic and safe week out there!! Feel free to pop in while I'm live this week, I'd love to see you~
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See y'all for the indie rally grab bag stream tomorrow. I'm gonna chat more about this there, and talk about some of my big plans for June. 💚
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And don't worry... if this plan doesn't work out, I'm not in immediate danger of losing everything. I still have employment insurance from my old job letting me go no-cause, and worst case scenario my mom has offered help and I have lots in savings.
I'm gonna try this. I'm gonna be okay.
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I don't want to give my life back to the full-time grind when things are going this well with my passions. I have big plans, and I really want to try living a different way for a bit.
I mean... I'm 30. I gotta let myself try something different at some point, don't I?
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I really want to try out working part time and balancing streaming with it - over the past few months, my community has continued to grow, and the support from everyone has been unbelievable. Despite everything that's happened, I'm happier than I have been for YEARS.
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I interviewed for another position yesterday, which is much more aligned with my experience and interests, is something I'm really excited about doing, and walking distance to my apartment... and it's also part-time, while still paying enough to cover expenses.
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you're a legend, Swole
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content!
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you wanna learn how to rally at some point? c: