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reubenglaser.bsky.social
Humorist
236 posts 58 followers 145 following
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Posts 45 Comments 5

The thing about this Elon Musk email nonsense where employees have to justify their existences is WHO the hell is supposed to be reading these emails anyway? Is he going to do it? Or he has staff to read millions of bullet-point lists? Oh why am I even still asking questions, nothing matters anymore

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

I just misread a headline and thought it said that DOGE wanted to "eliminate the moon" and I hardly even questioned it.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

The only good thing that ever came of Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show is Emma Stone lip-syncing "Hook" by Blues Traveler.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

This is the funniest thing I have seen in weeks.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

PSA: I know you think it's amusingly derisive, but pejoratively calling Elon Musk "Melon Husk" is not going to do much to solve our current problems.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Hell yeah! Just got an actual rejection email for my application as a writer at Naughty Dog instead of being ignored outright! As far as my job hunt is concerned, things are really looking up!

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I was not able to attend the SNL 50th anniversary celebration (because I lack any sort of direct relationship with the program whatsoever) but I do hope to be able to attend the next one

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Jimmy Fallon's lack of an upper lip is troubling. Like, where is it?

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

I guess it's encouraging that people are trying to portray this as heartwarming and I hate to rain on anybody's parade, but this is also kinda, I dunno, a chilling metaphor? A rare horror emerging from the pitch black depths to reveal itself in full, only to die? I suppose symbolism is subjective.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

I am glad they are making a Daffy Duck feature length movie, as he is my soul animal.

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

oh, good, I couldn't remember my blood type so this is very helpful

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

breaking: newly leaked audio of each of the times Mitch McConnell fell down and really hurt himself and broke all of his bones www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IGP...

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

breaking: pic of Mitch McConnell after he fell down a whole flight of stairs again

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

imagine if there was a monitor lizard named "Bertie"

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

this is why we keep losing

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

the saddest I ever was in my life was when I gave my tiny dog a large chunk of chicken and because of its size and his lack of teeth he couldn't take bites of it so he just carried it around and started to cry.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Blockbuster? More like “Crock (of SHIT) Buster!” Where are my movies?!

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

the first word this picture makes me think of is "worms"

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

brb, unfollowing the official Instagram account of the President of the United States of America

submitted 49 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 55 days ago • 123 comments

Farewell, David Lynch - a visionary, one of my favorites of all time, one of a kind, and the celebrity impression I always planned to use to knock Lorne's socks off if I ever landed an SNL audition

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

real Twin Peaks fans will understand this, lol

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Great news!

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

a guy named "Gary Slimer"

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

Trump supporters when they hear “Gulf of America.”

submitted 62 days ago • 1 comment

bring back Oinko the Boinko

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

I don't know what's next for Justin Trudeau now but I hope it's "voice acting" because that dude has a cool guy voice.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

stunning picture of the inspiring leadership Canada now has to look forward to

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t know what to do with this but I needed to share it

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

I never thought the Canadians to be in possession of such hubris. Anyway, enjoy this butt weasel now that you pushed Trudeau out, guys! You wanted this!

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

So proud of my older sister Nikki Glaser’s performance last night as the host of the Golden Globes or whatever it was ☺️

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Hear me out: a newborn baby named “Anderson.”

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Anybody going to the Huckus 2 Fuckus concert tonight at Spander’s? Tickets sold out fast. If you go, please let me know if it’s any good.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Happy New Year. I spent the last ten minutes before midnight looking around Wrigleyville for Bill Murray. I couldn’t find him. I know he’s around here somewhere though, so that’ll have to do. Anybody know where he ended up?

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

There's been a cellar spider above my bathroom medicine cabinet for like half a year now, and I eventually started calling her "Spider Mother" and watched as she carried her eggs until they hatched and then as she cared for her hatchlings until they left the web.

submitted 75 days ago • 1 comment

oh wow, they're just straight-up insulting the USA now. They aren't even hiding it anymore.

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine if there was an influencer who called themselves “The Health Elf.” 🤢

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments

Was Christmas Carol always like this??? I don’t remember Scrooge being so freaky

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

this Pierre guy in Canada - I can't tell if the best descriptor of him is "dink," "goober," or "butt weasel."

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

A GREAT. E-SYRIAN LEADER. WHO DOESN'T WHEFF OUT THE WINDOW WHEN I UPRISING!

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

This new Ronald Reagan biopic is great

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

more like "Interview with a HAM-pire"

submitted 84 days ago • 1 comment

They released the manifesto of Luigi Mangione and it looks, I dunno, a little fishy to me? What do you think?

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

even if this all ends up being accurate, I don't know how you expect me to believe that a guy named Luigi's Mansion ended up being caught after being the subject of a nationwide manhunt for almost a week because he slipped up and went to a McDonald's

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments