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rojohen.bsky.social
The Subtle Art of Dying Alone https://linktr.ee/rojohen
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Dad, frantically waking up after dozing off on the couch: “What? Huh? Is it over? Did I miss it? Who won?” Me: “Um… the Spinosaurus won.” (We were watching “Walking with Dinosaurs” on PBS)

Visiting Jurassic Park and getting super pissed off because most of the dinosaurs are actually from the Cretaceous Period.

Buy me sandwiches.

Eating a Snickers can turn your whole day around.

They should do a next day follow-up to Hot Ones where the celebrities talk about how spicy their poops were.

Thicker legs. Shorter shorts.

What do you mean this is only halfway done? 🥲 #crochet 🧶

I may investigate Planet Fitness. I’ve never really been interested in that gym, but there is one approximately two minutes from my house, so it would be extremely convenient.

Asked my nephew (2.5 years old) what his favorite type of cookie is, and he said, “Poop cookies,” and I just don’t think he’s telling the truth.

I am contemplating starting several gym memberships to see which gym I like best.

They should make hotdogs that clean your teeth.

I thought I had finished Doctor Odyssey a while ago, but apparently I had only watched the MID-SEASON finale, so I spent my whole day today crocheting and watching the back half of Season 1. If ABC doesn’t renew this show, I will riot. (It is such a stupid show, but I love it so much).

If you’ve ever called me Daddy, you owe me a Father’s Day present.

My high school’s Homecoming parades were more exciting than this.

I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to be sad, so I’m expecting the next couple days to be ROUGH.

I wasn’t sure if Adventure Time was appropriate for my 2.5 year old nephew, but this boy is ENTHRALLED.

My new shoes seem to be cutting off circulation. I have lost all sensation in several of my toes.

lmaoo never gets old

No Kings includes Draft Kings

Finished training. I now have two days off. Please keep the noise down while I take the longest nap of my life.

I have been taking record-breaking quantities of ibuprofen this week.

Rick Moranis retired from acting decades ago but is coming back for Spaceballs 2. What a legend.

This is wild.

This has been the most grueling training schedule of any job I’ve ever had, and I’m so fucking tired I’m tempted to quit. (I won’t, but I am so ready to be done).

I hope Season 5 is just a 6-episode extended edition of The Menagerie. #StarTrekStrangeNewWorlds

Full Strawberry Moon.

I require coffee.

Installing bidets in my parents’ house while they aren’t paying attention.

I got my first paycheck direct deposited, and it showed up in my account 3 full days before pay day, and nobody can figure out why, so hopefully I’m just special and I get paid early every time.

I wish I had two hearts I could follow.

This headline reads like a report about cicadas.