rosenblumtheo.bsky.social
filmmaker, writer, performer, learned my trade via cargo cult science
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The world's first mammal was invented by Rick Mammal, subsistence farmer from Kentucky turned director of commerce for president John Quincy Adams. Abraham Lincoln later praised Adams for his contributions to the animal kingdom. Prior to the invention of the mammal most animals were bugs or birds.
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Sports betting should just be a weaselly guy named Rocky in a dingy basement making calls on horse races, he should have a pinstripe suit and a greasy mustache, and I get to rough him up on occasion with my henchmen.
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spice it up once in a while with a follow up message saying "what about THAT"
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personally I don't think anything can go wrong
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I'm gonna build The Meditation Room, which is a cult that lets people have a third space. Tenet #1 thou shalt have a third space to see people. Tenet #2 maybe be kind to each other. Tenet #3 I, Theodore Rosenblum, am the Supreme Eternal Godhead and must be given whatever I want
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Where are you flying to that takes all night and what are you gonna do once you get there?
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Some of the public’s loudest champions of the empathy machine nevertheless reduce it down to schemata and their own self. And some profess no interest in the mechanics of the artist’s process. We have a generation of painting viewers who ignore the brushstrokes.
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People would rather hold on to the fantasy of Film Twitter/Letterboxd/sweep of film history acceptable artistic purity than face the reality of the gloriously and infinitely complex artist’s spirit.
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Have you seen Jacob Wysocki on the new season of Dropout’s VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE? That character is like halfway to Tony Clifton.
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Lionsgate is already greenlighting the sequel as we speak: THE MAN WHO WAS TORTURED TWO MONTHS AGO SADLY GETS TORTURED AGAIN.
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“One drop changes everything” is not necessarily even a bad tagline for the Fargeat movie
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to be clear, personally “soggy and crisp” feel totally distinct from “funny and unfunny,” just two different styles of comedy
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trying to think of a show where the comedy is best described as “soggy”
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at first i was like “hmmm weird poster for The Substance”
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loved seeing Alan Resnick show up as a droid merchant
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they should have left that factsheet in the inbox on effective coup n’ destabilization strategies, shaking my damn head, no one has any institutional knowledge any more.
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That movie is a nightmare. Everyone is mean and cruel. The snowman changes size on a whim. Santa’s food is the same color as his walls, and it visibly twitches. Herbie’s mouth disappears in some shots. They dump the poor owl out of the sleigh w/ out a parachute even though he can’t fly.
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Drow McWeiny
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The most obviously cartoonishly cynical screenplay of 2024, maybe all time
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The characters will have heartfelt dialogue exchanges about how wonderful it is for people to have the most profit imaginable, and how handsome and beautiful and sexy movie execs all are, especially you, the one reading this screenplay.
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The posts credits scene will be Real Actor Zendaya walks into frame and asks Real Actor Timothee Chalamet if he’s heard of the [PROPERTY] Initiative. It will be literally written like that, in brackets, so they can plug in whatever IP they own.
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Some sluglines will be bolded and some won’t, and the action block will straight up ask the reader which they like more. One of our ten characters speaks Mandarin Chinese and has dialogue pleading with the Chinese government and censors to like me like me like me.
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I’m talking 90 pages flat and lampshaded too, a cheap jumpscare every ten pages, less than ten speaking roles to avoid paying nasty nasty SAG-AFTRA, references to Hungarian landmarks to justify the tax breaks, Sir Peter Ustinov resurrected using de-aging, brand integration galore!
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Sam Peckinpah’s A NIGHT IN THE WOODS