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samury.com
The Internet's 1,087,452nd most famous Ryan he/him/they/them
238 posts 176 followers 363 following
Prolific Poster

Is that the new pope or are they just blowing out smoke? Eyyyyyy

Me reading a Discord about Blue Prince.

"AI therapist, I've been struggling coping with my mom's death." Two weeks later: "Remember your mom's best moments with Edible Arrangements. Edible Arrangements, your mom would've wanted this."

I'm barely functioning today because I made a discovery playing Blue Prince last night and didn't sleep.

Fun fact: Nintendo means "leave luck to Heaven" That is what I will tell everyone trying to preorder a Switch 2.

Oh, TIL, there's a video game named Oblivion.

So excited to dive into Oblivion!

Earth Day is just a way for Earth companies to sell more Earth.

I'm calling it now, the new rewind feature in Mario Kart World will be used by people in the lead to get better power-ups.

I just bought a new comb for my cat and I am SOOOO FUCKING EXCITED to comb him tonight

@jasonkpargin.bsky.social Me at the beginning of your book vs me at the end of your book.

Reading books doesn't make you smarter, but people think you are, and I don't want to correct them

I say “bless you” when my cats sneeze but I don’t even think they’re religious.

Happy Switch 2 preorder day to those who celebrate (not me)

Damn, I hope local coffee shops can weather the tariffs. They already have thin margins at it is. Where else can they get beans?

just over here photoshopping muppets onto the cover of l’officiel magazine: thread

Every day I wake up to the news

Thinking of starting a charcuterie business named MeatCute

"You can just Google that." I know I can. We all have an Internet connected piece of glass in our pockets. I'm asking you because I want to make conversation. I want us to talk like how people used to.

Mister Rogers never misses

i have genuinely never made an image so fast in my life

I bet you in Avengers Doomsday, someone will say, "Stop! We can't keep fighting. We aren't rivals. Marvel Rivals!"

English will return as the language used in 'AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY'

Keanu Reeves will return as Le Chevalier Danceny in "Avengers: Doomsday"

Aubrey Plaza will return as Wow Platinum in Avengers: Doomsday

2015: Company had a leak, your SSN is now on the dark web. 2025: Company had a leak, your DNA is now on the dark web.

23 and me: DELETE YOUR DNA Me after deleting my DNA:

society erred when we removed the computer from its honored place in the home and ushered it into every part of our profane world. we must rebuild the temple of the Computer Room

If a DJ is from New Zealand, are they a Kiwi Wiki Wiki?

About five chapters into Careless People. I know it's from a single point of view, but goddamn. Not a memoir reader, but this book is riveting.

A saxophone solo is self care

I hope the next console generation has normal shaped machines.

Oh no, I’m late for my daily work poop and Slay the Spire session.

Me walking out of Uniqlo after saying "no" when they ask if I wanted to pay ten cents for a bag.

At jury duty "...voir dire is important to democracy." Me: Hehe... dire vore

TIL, the Irish airlines is called Aer Lingus and I can't say it without giggling

My Avowed character's inventory:

The era of computer is over!

The first boss of Monster Hunter Wilds is too hard and unfair. How am I supposed to beat the Character Creator?!