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sarahmsmart.bsky.social
world’s oldest millennial. party camel.
539 posts 307 followers 184 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 45 Comments 3

my 5yo just asked me to marry him and was crushed to learn that i’m already married

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

is the long restroom line because people are doing coke in there or because everyone’s costumes are so complicated?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

carnaval is just halloween meets pride

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

i am still upset that j kbello is not representing spain in eurovision this year. the song and performance were objectively better and likelier to win in basel

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

i'm looking for a job. my resume is i can do anything and everyone likes me

submitted 15 days ago • 42 comments

if he’s being charged with necromancy then why didn’t he bring back tupac?

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

im deadly serious here this is a 14th century illustration of a horse dying and going to hell

submitted 15 days ago • 109 comments

it’s been a while but my AS is acting up again. the good part is getting my money’s worth out of this crutch i bought last year

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 18 days ago • 89 comments

what if luigi was ugly up until he did that

submitted 18 days ago • 41 comments

did i mess something up or did instagram stop automatically muting videos?

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Language is political. MAGA wants to control language because it gives them more power to shape the narrative and control meaning. I really hope that @apnews.com can stand their ground here. The AP style guide is a standard across many organizations beyond the news. www.axios.com/2025/02/18/t...

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

wow i’m really down today!

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

I just added more things to this list today: docs.google.com/document/d/1...

submitted 24 days ago • 78 comments

this man just replied to all his love letters on VALENTINE'S DAY. pimp shit.

submitted 25 days ago • 32 comments

hey yall. anyone else sadder than you ever thought you could be in your entire life

submitted 29 days ago • 173 comments

There's a way for drake to come back from this and that is to make a ska record

submitted 29 days ago • 163 comments

if somebody performed a diss track where they called me a pedophile during halftime of the super bowl i wouldn't even have to kill myself, i would just disintegrate. all my atoms would fly apart in a thousand different directions and i would simply cease to exist

submitted 30 days ago • 23 comments

i definitely don’t trust any health info from US sites anymore

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

Repost with your best apocalypse skill I have no useful skills and will likely die immediately

submitted 33 days ago • 1 comment

‘tis the season for these and they fucking slap

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Where the hell is Lin-Manuel Miranda? Why isn’t he, in full costume, outside the Treasury Department, right now, RAPPING?!

submitted 35 days ago • 292 comments

jeff donut

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

I'm not donating to your political party if all you're going to do is post. I can do that for free. I will donate if you have a project to resurrect FDR and give him a gun

submitted 37 days ago • 581 comments

submitted 38 days ago • 78 comments

If I scroll long enough something funny is waiting as soon as I get through 90000 posts about how we are all gonna fuckin die

submitted 39 days ago • 3 comments

did anyone else ever have songs that they were scared of? for me it was “witchy woman” by the eagles

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

help i heard that shaboozey song in the pharmacy and now i’m obsessed with it

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

allow me to introduce you to the ur-michael bolton

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

with tariffs, all the americans will now have to pay me $120 instead of $100 to my paypal per month to be gay

submitted 43 days ago • 1 comment

did anyone else ever have songs that they were scared of? for me it was “witchy woman” by the eagles

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

when you eat dumplings you have to say or sing “dumps like a truck truck truck truck”

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

not strictly a selfie

submitted 47 days ago • 1 comment

stood at my standing desk for a full 30 minutes, please clap

submitted 50 days ago • 2 comments

Me this morning

submitted 50 days ago • 3 comments

hold your horses, buckaroo

submitted 51 days ago • 1 comment

If i were president the first thing I'd do when i took office is make every american learn to play the riff from the collective soul song with the conspicuous "yeah" in it

submitted 51 days ago • 141 comments

ramen is dead. long live udon.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

who are these children who don’t like nutella and why did i give birth to two of them

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

why is everybody suddenly trying to get my nails to “glow”? ffs beauty industry

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

not me bursting into tears when blues traveler’s “hook” unexpectedly starts playing

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

inside you are 99 bottles of beer on the wall

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

i put one (1) googly eye on the back of my phone

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

just because something is in the shape of xiao long bao doesn’t mean it is xiao long bao

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

how is it possible to be so happy and so sad at the same time

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments