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sergeymedi.bsky.social
Engineer | Psychologist | Fintech. Joined for dead poets, stayed for society. Sharing insights and Negronis. 📝 medium.com/@sergey.medi 📬 linkedin.com/in/sergeyvoelker
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Socrates: Know thyself. Me: Let’s better not.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

dr: any preexisting conditions? me: rage

submitted 42 days ago • 7 comments

“Use your words,” I say. The bear continues to attack me

submitted 48 days ago • 8 comments

My body is a temple. My closet is a thrift shop. My kitchen is a health code violation. My backyard is a primeval rainforest. I forgot where I was going with this.

submitted 49 days ago • 27 comments

WIFE: So what did you do today? ME: I wrote a story about a car that has a portrait of itself at home which absorbs any damage or wear and tear. Calling it the Picture Of Delorean Gray. HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'.

submitted 47 days ago • 13 comments

saw a post about the law of averages but it was just mean. yes, i failed statistics how’d you know ?

submitted 50 days ago • 8 comments

Okay two more hours of minesweeper and back to work

submitted 50 days ago • 16 comments

Adults: I believe the children are our future Children: (seeing the future) Hard pass.

submitted 52 days ago • 2 comments

*waking up* i’ve made a huge mistake

submitted 52 days ago • 3 comments

INVENTOR OF THE LETTER Q: yea but we're gonna make this one hella codependent

submitted 51 days ago • 46 comments

$10 a month and you can use all the fonts. I call it Spotifont

submitted 50 days ago • 11 comments

Current mood: Hemingway on Slack - "Need coffee. Accepting bourbon."

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

What if I f*ck around but never find out?

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

My biggest character flaw is that whenever I throw a boomerang it never comes back to me.

submitted 53 days ago • 1 comment

Kill them with kindness?... Why not with enthusiasm?

submitted 53 days ago • 2 comments

Alexa, redistribute the wealth

submitted 52 days ago • 5 comments

At least Sisyphus had no meetings.

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

Am I.. a piñata?

submitted 54 days ago • 1 comment

Does overthinking burn calories? Asking for a friend.

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

GHOST: [tries to haunt me] ME: [shows ghost current headlines] GHOST: I can't compete with that. Good luck.

submitted 57 days ago • 7 comments

Mixed feelings: What if I peak in my sleep and never notice? 😴🚀✨️

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Mixed feelings: What if I got used to the tunnel and don’t want the light?

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Mixed feelings: How to lose weight as a winner?

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Mixed feelings: 5am. Yoga. Avocado toast. Steroids.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

LUKE: what is 2 plus 2 YODA: i forget LUKE: correct

submitted 59 days ago • 24 comments

John Wick. Four movies. Countless bodies. The dog was under the bed.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Self-confidence: I’m a strong mediocre.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve already memorized your license plate (flirting)

submitted 65 days ago • 6 comments

Just learned that the Victorian era and the Wild West overlapped. Sherlock Holmes and Billy the Kid were technically contemporaries.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Today's mantra: Strong coffee. Strong me.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

[me on the tonight show] JIMMY FALLON: so i hear you like to tell people directions ME: that's right Jimmy

submitted 69 days ago • 3 comments

nacho is Spanish for “not yours”

submitted 69 days ago • 14 comments

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick Especially because his name is Brian

submitted 70 days ago • 13 comments

"He thought it was inspiration but it was actually just caffeine." - my epitaph.

submitted 70 days ago • 1 comment

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it pays for vacations.

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

Me pronouncing pineapples like Minneapolis will probably come up in divorce court

submitted 71 days ago • 14 comments

Wait until they find out I’m just three trenchcoats in a raccoon

submitted 71 days ago • 9 comments

"I’ve got a date with destiny, and it ain't gonna end with a kiss" - Phineas & Ferb

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

2025 goals: I don't think I'm being dramatic enough.

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t have regrets. I have a collection of poor decisions that I’ve rebranded as “life lessons.

submitted 73 days ago • 29 comments