sharpdresseddyke.bsky.social
If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Spinster, T4T polyamorous & polysaturated lesbian, dyke on a bike.
1,909 posts
568 followers
318 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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Yaaay! Y'all are so great and seeing your beautiful faces makes my night!
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It's much further back for me - over a decade
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I particularly hate that "your current device location is all that matters" design of some dating apps.
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Civil if distant. Over the last few years the conversations have started to happen about what it was like for me. E.g. he thought I got all of the dairy farm work because I wanted it and didn't think it was because Dad was enforcing the overload on me
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It created sibling conflict in my family because my brother was jealous of Dad's attention being overwhelmingly on me, for which he blamed me
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I'm so sorry for them.
With my brother it was to the point of neglect, e.g. my parents refused to take action as he began binge drinking up to multiple times per week in high school. When he had a wreck that way they took the keys away from me so that he didn't have to be without a car.
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I was planning expanders when I was stuck at a B cup (and misshapen at that - most of the mass below my nipples didn't grow) but now that I'm a K I believe I'll be happier with somewhat smaller ones than the previous plan
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I had a version of this. Out of exhaustion from the gatekeeping I woodworked after bottom surgery, changing that because the North Carolina bathroom law happened
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Glad to see you here!
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Oof. I'm sorry that you experienced it.
My father claimed to be a teetotaler throughout my youth and strictly enforced it on me, to the point that I couldn't even have Seagram's brand ginger ale. I say of it that a Bible in his hand was like a bottle in the hands of other men.
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My own parents demonstrated it. They were "only communicate by yelling and hit for the slightest issue, never apologize if in error" to me and "never punish in any way, just repeatedly say 'don't do that again'" for my brother, insisting that those were the only two ways possible.
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For however much the words of a stranger online are worth: I'm proud of you. It's hard work. Part of my decision to not have kids was that I knew I wasn't going to be in a place to heal enough in time.
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Thank you. Fortunately, that relationship is a decade in my past and I spent a lot of time in therapy to work on those broken parts of myself. I am in far better relationships today.
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That happened to me. There wasn't a divorce just a father with serious anger issues. Most of the time I was punished wrongly - for imagined things or that someone else did - and I realized it was because he lost his temper and used my body as a punching (and kicking,etc) bag.
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That was the worst part for me: the fact that I was terrified of my parents and whenever they were near I was trying to get away inflamed their anger and they often decided that it meant I had done something for which I needed to be hit.
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Truer words are seldom spoken.
My father was an ex-hippie who went evangelical after being drafted and subsequently getting married. Thus he had that and anger about being drafted, deciding to be 24x7 1:1 drill sargent dad for 20 years to me.
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He had not involved anyone else in setting timelines, budgets and resources required so for it to be any of that - anything but me just not doing the work - would be admitting he was at fault.
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On that note: refusing to see and admit their own participation in the problem.
PIPs are a great example because the only time I was on one was because a project with a 2 week deadline took me 10 months. The actual issue was that the manager completely under-resourced the project.
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Exactly!
I will never forget the time my father decided to use groundings. It was always in addition to hitting me, excessive (within a year I had amassed almost 20 years worth) and useless because the only things I was allowed to do in the first place he was more invested in me doing than I was.
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It's how I ended up becoming a survivor of intimate partner violence. People expect that what was everyday experiences for 18 years during which we were told it was a normal way to express love will suddenly be seen as a red flag.
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I hate that so much. My desire for breast augmentation and rhinoplasty was endlessly met with complaints like "lots of women have small breasts and big noses and don't change them. You're saying that they aren't women if they don't get surgery!" demanding I suffer to be inspiration for others.
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That's my plan, too.
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I had two knit scarves that I balled-up and put under my shirt so I could feel like I had boobs. They were about the size of volleyballs.
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This is exactly the reason I came to the phrase "my body and on my terms."
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Seconding all of this. As far back as my childhood when I would see myself in dreams it was as a woman with a massive rack.
Further, due to my own experiences I've lost all patients for the arguments seeking to shame or prevent us from having our bodies on our terms.