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slytron.bsky.social
The Twitterist Formerly Known As FAO Shorts, Wife of Pie, Kanyetheist and other nonsense.
178 posts 109 followers 117 following
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Posts 22 Comments 28

I alone determine whether the half time show was good or bad based solely on whether or not I like the artist

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

They should raise the stakes by making the losing super bowl team euthanize the losing puppy bowl team

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

They should raise the stakes by euthanizing the losing super bowl team

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

They should raise the stakes by euthanizing the losing puppy bowl team

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Kamala should have attended the puppy bowl as the sole spectator

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

There’s losing a rap beef, and then there’s the American Heart Association going “did you know that dissing Drake can save lives?”

submitted 16 days ago • 52 comments

One little known fact about my family is that my grandad predicted the Titanic would sink. He even went around warning everyone it was unsafe and was ignored and yelled at. Then when it actually happened just like he said it would nobody acknowledged him because he'd been evicted from the theatre

submitted 16 days ago • 72 comments

submitted 17 days ago • 57 comments

[watching my neighbor burn my house down] IM GONNA VOTE AGAINST YOU SO HARD AT THE NEXT HOA MEETING

submitted 18 days ago • 36 comments

if I understand American politics correctly, progressivism is something that requires 60 senate votes to work, while national conservatism doesn’t require any votes at all

submitted 19 days ago • 745 comments

the tariff trade war stuff is pretty complicated but one way you can think about it is that in this scenario the United States is basically Drake and Canada is Kendrick Lamar

submitted 20 days ago • 38 comments

Turnkey sandwich

submitted 22 days ago • 4 comments

Mustache guys are either no nonsense or 100% nonsense

submitted 22 days ago • 53 comments

DEI is now to blame for white guys who don't do a good job because it's making them have to do more piloting than the pilots in the other planes to compensate

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

man i just called senator padilla's office and the person who answered just shrieked at me incoherently [squints at website] oh whoops actually i called the fax number by mistake

submitted 25 days ago • 10 comments

Every time I eat avocado toast in my almost paid-off house a boomers head explodes

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

In a total flip flop in political stance, I am now in favor of building the wall* (*The wall being around New England to protect us from the rest of the country)

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Oh no that trolley is going to run us over! Guy tied up on the track next to me who somehow thinks he's actually the guy holding the lever: Lol cry more 😂

submitted 30 days ago • 70 comments

Oh my God I'm RICH!! I never knew it but this guy who knows everything said so, so I'm rich!!

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Go ahead and delete Meta products and Twitter, Amazon and anything else that stops making them money But if you REALLY want to divest: take all of your money out of your bank and move it to a local credit union. Even if you don't have much, every dollar hits their bottom line.

submitted 31 days ago • 1 comment

RIGHT WINGERS ON GENDER: you’re a man or a woman, its black and white RIGHT WINGERS ON NAZI SALUTE: I mean…maybe he has a disorder. He’s just kind of awkward. Or perhaps he doesn’t know what it means. I mean what does it mean REALLY? Let’s have an extended nuanced conversation on it.

submitted 32 days ago • 5 comments

I've been trying to divest from Spotify for a while but the vitriol I see from anti-Spotify folx is relentless. The rhetoric that should be directed at the Spotify Csuite is directed at regular people just trying to navigate a capitalist mine field, as if we personally designed the payment structure

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments