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slytron.bsky.social
The Twitterist Formerly Known As FAO Shorts, Wife of Pie, Kanyetheist and other nonsense.
206 posts 132 followers 120 following
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Posts 24 Comments 25

Real Housewives of DC

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

it’s funny that they’re both on their own personal websites posting their little posts

submitted 20 days ago • 138 comments

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

submitted 20 days ago • 532 comments

Following my boyfriend around Home Depot and now I understand what I've been doing to him at Joann fabrics

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Breaking News: Pizza says it will buy Pasta for $1.38 billion from lasagna conglomerate Ravioli Holdings

submitted 76 days ago • 5 comments

Lackadaisically shaking a fistful of freeze-dried Skittles and popping them in my mouth like an old man eating peanuts

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

A female version of Aladdin called "Aladyin"

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

A "Golden Bachelor" style version of "Love is Blind" called "Love has Cataracts"

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

can i unrescue my rescue dog if it is a Narcissist

submitted 102 days ago • 232 comments

Gotta hand it to Chuck Schumer he did manage to unite both bases in absolutely hating him

submitted 103 days ago • 0 comments

I would like to eat a snack but my dogs are sleeping peacefully

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

if i lived in the 1800s and making dinner meant spending every waking hour baking bread and plucking a chicken or whatever and then my husband sat down and said "let's thank god for this meal" i think i'd poison him

submitted 109 days ago • 116 comments

I haven't stepped foot in or ordered from Target in 2025. You can do this. It only gets easier.

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

Would pay money for a Zelensky / Kendrick Collab

submitted 117 days ago • 155 comments

The Grohlden Girls

submitted 119 days ago • 0 comments

I alone determine whether the half time show was good or bad based solely on whether or not I like the artist

submitted 132 days ago • 0 comments

They should raise the stakes by making the losing super bowl team euthanize the losing puppy bowl team

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

They should raise the stakes by euthanizing the losing super bowl team

submitted 136 days ago • 0 comments

They should raise the stakes by euthanizing the losing puppy bowl team

submitted 136 days ago • 0 comments

Kamala should have attended the puppy bowl as the sole spectator

submitted 136 days ago • 0 comments

There’s losing a rap beef, and then there’s the American Heart Association going “did you know that dissing Drake can save lives?”

submitted 139 days ago • 51 comments

One little known fact about my family is that my grandad predicted the Titanic would sink. He even went around warning everyone it was unsafe and was ignored and yelled at. Then when it actually happened just like he said it would nobody acknowledged him because he'd been evicted from the theatre

submitted 139 days ago • 71 comments

submitted 140 days ago • 56 comments

[watching my neighbor burn my house down] IM GONNA VOTE AGAINST YOU SO HARD AT THE NEXT HOA MEETING

submitted 141 days ago • 35 comments