Profile avatar
socketeer.bsky.social
i don't make money i make problems | policy wonk | mpls, mn
252 posts 418 followers 1,084 following
Prolific Poster

She should have just registered as a crypto exchange

Elon Musk, the richest person in the world, convinces the decades-younger mother of his latest child that he is too vulnerable to legally claim the child as his own

elon musk might be one of the most paranoid weirdos out there

Every time a marvel movie ends my wife is like “do you wanna see what happens after the credits?” And I say “what is gonna happen is that one guy will be standing there and then another guy will walk into the room and I won’t know who either of the guys are”

is this anything

she made the greatest posting mistake you can make, acknowledging a dunk on you like this

What did Trump take first, chicken or egg?

the most notable part about elon musks deranged appearence at CPAC was that even in front of sociopathic supporting crowd his “i am become meme” joke only got tepid, forced laughter. he can’t even come off as funny in front of those support him the most

Musk DNA my wife received? Might be too good. deformed fluid tracts pump piss directly to the kids brain. He says hes the ultimate life form

egg gone slate.com/news-and-pol...

this man is on fucking drugs, he is on a lot of them, and every member of the white house press corps and every republican member of congress is deliberately overlooking it

how is this from 2022

Every time he butts heads with people that do the work he melts the fuck down

nobody knows you're on drugs when you're wearing sunglasses, it's like Clark Kent for sobriety

it’s even funnier once you consider that taking this thing to a car wash voids the warranty

at least he made the hyperloop run on time

this is not universal but it is distressingly common among legacy media people. the idea that they have any duty to society or responsibility beyond getting clicks and clout is abhorrent to a sizable number of people at the top of this industry

can someone let the senile president’s eldest son know that his father’s chief vizier wants to impregnate his teen daughter

The US Government Contributions tag is extremely helpful for determining who paid for this opinion.

New York already has a monarch

counterpoint: no they aren't, they're going to come up with increasingly intricate and convoluted explanations for why things aren't lining up with their expectations of reality. Stop waiting for people to "come to their senses", you're not going to get to say "I told you so" to anyone

i always learn so much about the world and its possibilities whenever i open facebook

The kind of support Schumer can expect from me is me making a strongly worded tiktok video telling him there's nothing we can do for him.

Many people are asking why RFK Jr. talked about the sperm count of young boys in his opening address to HHS and I do not have a good answer for that.

Tesla owner calls the cops after someone tags the windshield with dog shit

Perfect shitpost 10/10

this is my minority leader dawg, im going to die

remember when everyone was like "president biden you should purge all the trump people out of the justice system" and he was like "can't eatin ice cream"

I wonder how often these chuds are disappointed that everything isn't just like the movies

Not sure why people are so surprised about all the planes falling out of the sky. Where else are they gonna fall from

So it was woke when most major manufacturing corporations stopped using physical media?

great, a 5-page pdf with no identifiable plan or actions. do not make me run for office.

Jesus christ, was I giving him ideas?

Tenting your fingers while talking is becoming the visual shorthand for a complete dumbass

love to have a mayor where this photoshop i made in 2021 keeps being relevant

I don’t like making fun of people who play fighting games because it feels like I’m punching down, downforward, forward + A

new app idea: gamble on which planes will crash next

I often think about how the main non-occult antagonist of the first Ghostbusters movie was a guy who worked at the Environmental Protection Agency, & it was just taken as read that we'd all boo a guy who was a threat to freedom loving Americans' god given right to store nuclear waste in Manhattan

Putting on real pants several hours before my wife gets home so it looks like I accomplished something today

i've reached a new form of primitive enlightenment where my forebrain detects the atlantic font in a screenshot before it even begins to interpret the meaning of its language, rendering everything null. all i see here is an empty white square. it is bliss