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spiritual-ronin.bsky.social
Pagan fueled by caffeine and sarcasm. Retired Paramedic, BSHA. My opinions are many and often harsh, but they are solely mine. My demons have won. There's nothing left.
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The people who think that Green Day and RATM have gone woke were raised by the people who thought "Born in the USA" and "Fortunate Son" were patriotic anthems. If this is not an argument against home schooling, I don't know what is.

Men will make fun of a woman with "daddy issues," but never talk about the father who gave her those "issues." 1/5

If I could have three wishes right now, I know exactly what I'd ask for. Two in the back of the head. Someone else can have my leftover wishes.

I've been told that many last names are based on what someone's ancestor did for a living. I met a man the other day with the last name of Fitzgibbons, and I've decided that his great-great-great grandfather was really good at packing primates into boxes.

Just bought a new shirt. IYKYK. Link is here: a.co/d/2PqFwtE

The live action Snow White is performing poorly at the box office, and I have a theory as to why. 1/4

Today's Opinion: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a magnet for right wing hatred, and their favorite form of attack is criticism of her intelligence. This afternoon, I'd like to address that. 1/6

Dear Pandora: As a wedding DJ, I am often asked, "What is the most overplayed song ever? Is it the Chicken Dance? Love Shack? Don't Stop Believing?" No. It's actually Canon in D. I hear it at almost EVERY wedding. 1/3

I got kicked out of a gender reveal party yesterday. I accept the blame, but in my defense, I thought it was a group participation thing.

My youngest daughter has this thing where she'll ask me for something to eat, and she'll start with something simple, but if I don't get up right away to make it/get it for her, she'll change her mind, and the longer it takes, the more elaborate her request. 1/4

She sadly regarded her blender, with its frayed cord and dead motor. The power outage had rendered her fridge/freezer a giant paperweight, ruining her dairy products. As much as it grieved her, the truth was undeniable. There would be no boys in her yard today.

Dear PayPalpetine, We'd like to feel bad for you about the constant attacks on Teslas and the subsequent drop in stock value. Really, we would. But, see, empathy is a fundamental weakness, so...good luck, I guess. Wishing you champagne thoughts and caviar prayers, The Citizens of the US

Tonight, I'd like to share with you my time-tested technique for crafting original insults. Step 1: Begin with an activity. The more outlandish, the better. For this example, we'll go with cartwheeling. 1/

I didn't think I'd get so much judgment from people about the fact that I like to sleep naked. I mean, yeah, I guess I could have warned the rest of the people on the bus, but still...

My therapist: Why don't you open up more? Me: Because I have work tomorrow, and I can't afford to get Baker Acted.

Greta Thunberg and Kyle Rittenhouse were both born on January 3rd, 2003. Please stop giving so much weight to your astrological sign.

A native chief was gathering wood with his tribe to prepare for the coming winter, and he was concerned that they might not be gathering enough. He left their village and traveled to the nearest town to consult with a local weather expert. 1/4