Profile avatar
spiritual-ronin.bsky.social
Pagan fueled by caffeine and sarcasm. Retired Paramedic, BSHA. My opinions are many and often harsh, but they are solely mine. My demons have won. There's nothing left.
316 posts 616 followers 652 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 20 Comments 30

I've always been reluctant to get into a physical relationship with a photographer. I've always been afraid that we'd be getting our freak on, get into a really great position that feels awesome, and she'd suddenly say, "Now let's do a silly one!"

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The people who think that Green Day and RATM have gone woke were raised by the people who thought "Born in the USA" and "Fortunate Son" were patriotic anthems. If this is not an argument against home schooling, I don't know what is.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Men will make fun of a woman with "daddy issues," but never talk about the father who gave her those "issues." 1/5

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

If I could have three wishes right now, I know exactly what I'd ask for. Two in the back of the head. Someone else can have my leftover wishes.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

I've been told that many last names are based on what someone's ancestor did for a living. I met a man the other day with the last name of Fitzgibbons, and I've decided that his great-great-great grandfather was really good at packing primates into boxes.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Just bought a new shirt. IYKYK. Link is here: a.co/d/2PqFwtE

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

The live action Snow White is performing poorly at the box office, and I have a theory as to why. 1/4

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Today's Opinion: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a magnet for right wing hatred, and their favorite form of attack is criticism of her intelligence. This afternoon, I'd like to address that. 1/6

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

Dear Pandora: As a wedding DJ, I am often asked, "What is the most overplayed song ever? Is it the Chicken Dance? Love Shack? Don't Stop Believing?" No. It's actually Canon in D. I hear it at almost EVERY wedding. 1/3

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

I got kicked out of a gender reveal party yesterday. I accept the blame, but in my defense, I thought it was a group participation thing.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

My youngest daughter has this thing where she'll ask me for something to eat, and she'll start with something simple, but if I don't get up right away to make it/get it for her, she'll change her mind, and the longer it takes, the more elaborate her request. 1/4

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

She sadly regarded her blender, with its frayed cord and dead motor. The power outage had rendered her fridge/freezer a giant paperweight, ruining her dairy products. As much as it grieved her, the truth was undeniable. There would be no boys in her yard today.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Dear PayPalpetine, We'd like to feel bad for you about the constant attacks on Teslas and the subsequent drop in stock value. Really, we would. But, see, empathy is a fundamental weakness, so...good luck, I guess. Wishing you champagne thoughts and caviar prayers, The Citizens of the US

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Tonight, I'd like to share with you my time-tested technique for crafting original insults. Step 1: Begin with an activity. The more outlandish, the better. For this example, we'll go with cartwheeling. 1/

submitted 33 days ago • 1 comment

I didn't think I'd get so much judgment from people about the fact that I like to sleep naked. I mean, yeah, I guess I could have warned the rest of the people on the bus, but still...

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

My therapist: Why don't you open up more? Me: Because I have work tomorrow, and I can't afford to get Baker Acted.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Greta Thunberg and Kyle Rittenhouse were both born on January 3rd, 2003. Please stop giving so much weight to your astrological sign.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments