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spoonmyeyes.bsky.social
Sober, sometimes I do things, mostly I forget. Blamed myself until I got an ADHD diagnosis at 49. Occasionally NSFW. Happily married.
757 posts 249 followers 240 following
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Posts 18 Comments 31

When can we officially stop staying Happy New Year? I can do without this sort of positivity in my life.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

In the end all you’ve really got is the people around you. Choose wisely

submitted 69 days ago • 1 comment

Hey baby, can I show you my new massage technique? I call this one the “ulterior motive”

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

Yes sex is great but have you tried eating your body weight in pavlova and laughing until your stomach hurts?

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

Sunday morning storm mood

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

I slept on the couch with the post-op dog so she wouldn’t try to climb the stairs, if you want to know what sort of capeless hero you’re dealing with.

submitted 78 days ago • 2 comments

Going to the shops to buy toilet paper after no one thought to mention they’d used the last roll, because going out in the rain at 10:45pm on a Friday night to buy toilet paper is the perfect microcosm of my rock and roll lifestyle

submitted 78 days ago • 2 comments

Men don't appreciate being called lil fella, I guess.

submitted 80 days ago • 6 comments

Festive throwback Thursday thighs. Bit of a mouthful innit

submitted 79 days ago • 2 comments

The world would be a much better place if it were run by childless middle class cat ladies of a certain age.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

When your mutuals don’t retweet your mediocre tweets

submitted 80 days ago • 18 comments

Show me a pic on your phone that has your energy but is NOT a selfie

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Feeling so festive, I woke up with morning gloria in excelsis

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Talk in euphemisms and chill?

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

I wish she’d look at me like she looks at that couch after a hard day

submitted 81 days ago • 1 comment

Husband: Um, what are you doing? Me: My doctor said I should do multiple sets of bagels a day to strengthen my pelvic floor Husband:... Me, reaching for another: I'm almost certain he said bagels

submitted 81 days ago • 13 comments

I just thought of a skeet, opened up the post page, realised I’d forgotten it, and had to scroll back through my “mutuals” feed to find the place I’d fist thought of it. Without my ADHD diagnosis I’d think I was demented.

submitted 81 days ago • 1 comment

Everything is political, asshole

submitted 81 days ago • 1 comment