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spquigley.com
I write literature and software. Latest short story upcoming in the journal The Nature of Things: Duality and Paradox.
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Product makes me want to run into a pillar at platform nine and three quarters

):

Warner Bros really writing Tolkien like it's darth maul with horses when all I want is The Great Hobbiton Hoedown starring Flamshickle Berrywickle

can you spot the difference?

ronald out here plundering costco for rao's tomato sauce six packs like the last time he baked ziti wasn't 1995

if I ever meet the fella who invented regex I'm gonna ^(?:\x62(?:\x65\x67)\x20)?(?:\x66\x6f\x72)\x20(?:\x66(?:\x6f(?:\x72(?:\x67(?:\x69(?:\x76(?:\x65(?:\x6e(?:\x65\x73\x73)))))))))$

question mark really just makes a ? sound like it thinks I’m some gullible clown

asked mom for spare pecans. "you mean pecans?" "yeah." "why do you say it like that." "like what." "peekins." "do you have any" I ask. "you won't believe it Shaine your father is vomiting" "oh." "thanksgiving is cancelled." "oh." "don't bother with the sweet potato casserole."

staggering Larry energy

to the office thanksgiving potluck some unknown hero brought two full baking sheets of crabcakes. extremely powerful. they put a mirepoix in them and everything. yet I will be stoned plumb to death if I show my face this thursday without my signature sweet potato casserole

What exactly is that tomfoolery turkeys got on their face

trapped into making that god damned thanksgiving sweet potato casserole this year again and idk if my fucking heart can take it