stevevsninjas.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Hello sharks, today I am asking for a fake passport and a charter flight to a non-extradition country

submitted 5 days ago • 17 comments

The next Bond movie will be titled "Time to Die Mister Bond, Handcrafted Artisanal Film Movie for Men – Perfecf Christmas Gift and Funny Realistic Spy Gag, Harmless Entertainment Prank for Kids and Adults, Realistic Vanilla Scent 7.9 Ounce Motion Picture (Pack of 1)"

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

There's a new style of podcast I really like. Each one is 4-6 min. Topics vary. Tons of soundesign, and the podcasters pronounce words really strange, at different pitches. There's like 8-12 eps per season, only they don't call it a season, I think it's called an ablum. Have you guys heard of this?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

There's a new style of podcast I really like. Each one is 4-6 min. Topics vary. Tons of soundesign, and the podcasters pronounce words really strange, at different pitches. There's like 8-12 eps per season, only they don't call it a season, I think it's called an ablum. Have you guys heard of this?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I’m rubber, you’re glue. I’m canvas, you’re eyelets. I’m laces, you’re suede. We’re only a vulcanization process away from melding our lives in a converse all star.

submitted 10 days ago • 6 comments

People who ask questions like "is that allowed?" or "is that legal?" really misunderstand the spirit of Crime Season. Laws are just words decided via a public ceremony and what's allowed is whatever you can do if nothing stops you. Crime Season is all about learning whether anything will stop you.

submitted 23 days ago • 34 comments

kill bill is short for kill billionaires

submitted 24 days ago • 3 comments

[literally forgetting all my police training] omg there’s a shooty bang stealy thing at the bank please send more guys dressed like me

submitted 54 days ago • 5 comments

G.I. Joe is 12 inches high there's no way he served in the military

submitted 29 days ago • 14 comments

Your Joke is Factually Incorrect: A Guide to Dying Alone

submitted 29 days ago • 31 comments

Sleeping between midnight and 1 am: garbage, absolute crap, worst sleep there is, could skip it entirely Sleeping between 6:45 and 7:00am: every second of sleep is a beautiful pearl of perfect slumber that I am would gladly die for

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Cheating on an exam by memorizing everything the professor taught in advance so I can easily answer all the questions

submitted 35 days ago • 343 comments

welcome back to invisibility class. it's pretty disappointing to see so many of you here.

submitted 89 days ago • 7 comments

totally ripped snake with a 48-pack

submitted 46 days ago • 2 comments

SORRY THESE ARE LATE I DRANK HALF A BOTTLE OF NYQUILL AND GOT TANGLED IN MY NEIGHBOR’S WIND CHIMES

submitted 47 days ago • 18 comments

[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.

submitted 47 days ago • 88 comments

@vineyille.bsky.social just heard your classic head turn tweet described by a comedian on a podcast!

submitted 50 days ago • 2 comments

I, Werner Herzog, welcome you to my rockin new year's eve. Silently ponder each bubble in your champagne, the dying shriek of a sacrificial yeast.

submitted 59 days ago • 6 comments

Do one thing every day that scares your psychiatrist

submitted 60 days ago • 19 comments

Thinking about that one time when Jimmy Carter, like a real Mission Impossible movie, saved Canada from a nuclear meltdown. RIP, Mr. President. www.military.com/history/how-...

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

yule log? yeah, yule log off after reading the rest of my posts

submitted 69 days ago • 50 comments

This may just be the parasite talking, but I'm going to climb that super tall building over there and release all my spores.

submitted 603 days ago • 16 comments

I just tried to divide a Coke Zero between two glasses and the can exploded

submitted 75 days ago • 179 comments

Last isthmus I gave you my chart The very next day You sank to your grave This year A ghost ship appears You turned into something spectral

submitted 75 days ago • 9 comments

in your moment of greatest peril, every animal you ever swerved to avoid appears to fight on your behalf

submitted 87 days ago • 14 comments

claustrophobia is so stupid. let Santa get married.

submitted 88 days ago • 107 comments

"You're asking too much! I have a LIFE, you know!" I scream at this recipe that requires the butter to be softened in advance.

submitted 91 days ago • 57 comments

Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and he's the light of the world. I do it and I'm "making Thanksgiving awkward"

submitted 93 days ago • 10 comments