Profile avatar
storytellers-universe.com
am patches // am samoyed pls pat // any pronouns the queen of hearts // meister-scheißeposter // 24-36 sanity damage cw: shitposting // +18 // pfp: @tpknnts.bsky.social
312 posts 121 followers 124 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 26 Comments 24

this marten has been hired to watch you 🥰 please do not attempt to hide your snacks

submitted 21 hours ago • 25 comments

chess is easy u just make sure to put your little guys in the right place

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

18 months later, FOXXX is now: - On its 146th build - 741,000 words in length - Approximately 50 hours of content cottage-games.itch.io/foxxx-demo

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I console myself that, even if I can't use the word "clusterfuck" in an academic book, "omnishambles" serves just as well.

submitted 4 days ago • 126 comments

Them: "I make stuff too! Just recently I used AI to--" Me: [Acid Burn (0-level (Cantrip) Evocation) (4d6 at 17th level)]

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I LOVE MY PUPPYYYYY

submitted 6 days ago • 7 comments

Patches watching birds.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

. @cottage-games.itch.io REAL

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

Should I let him eat the wires he wants to badly

submitted 7 days ago • 402 comments

I love going to furry conventions to buy funko pops, shirts with "I hate my wife" print and harry potter merch /s

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I'm enchanted to meet you sketch for @storytellers-universe.com

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Introducing: Their royal beauty sketch for @storytellers-universe.com

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I don't pee, I piss

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Commercials for meds are always like "Ask your doctor about trying Our Medication 🌞" Like woah woah, slow down there, bucko- have YOU ever asked a doctor for a specific med? That's how you get labeled drug seeking. Doctors figure out which meds to give you via telepathy & ancient forest magics ONLY.

submitted 10 days ago • 59 comments

Got my collar yanked so hard it formed a new core memory

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 11 days ago • 17 comments

I sleep with a knife under my pillow in case someone with assorted meats and cheeses breaks in and needs to make a charcuterie board

submitted 15 days ago • 178 comments

If you find me at NFC, that's not me, that's Entity-0329. Find the nearest phone booth and describe what happened into the dial tone

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

To every Microsoft manager whose decisions led to my PC rebooting for an update because I dared look away from it for 5 minutes; You're nothing, the money won't change that, the universe will forget you. You will cease to exist along with everything you have created, your legacy will be cosmic dust.

submitted 18 days ago • 3 comments

Is there a name for time travel theory that says it's impossible, because it just takes one person from anytime between invention and forever, to go back and sabotage time travel research that made it exist in the first place? Over infinite stretch of time, chance of it happening would approach one

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments

No, I'd actually prefer a dumb microwave. In fact give me the dumbest one you've got. I want it to have a single knob to set time and nothing else. All it has to know is how to loudly hum and spin the plate inside. It doesn't even need to warm up the food; but wi-fi must be an eldritch concept to it

submitted 19 days ago • 7 comments

Like this post to receive a shiny pebble

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

A clause in your current contract makes your big titty furry goth OC company property

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Bro's room looks like RE4 inventory

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

Would you survive living in my pocket? (it's full of old receipts I got as a punishment for answering with 'yes, please')

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Her ass so big it [node graph out of date, rebuilding]

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments