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syruptishus.bsky.social
I hope you like Barry Manilow lyrics.
476 posts 1,149 followers 845 following
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Posts 36 Comments 14

Marriage material.

submitted 2 hours ago • 2 comments

. Don't assume I like you just because I'm smiling at you. I'm probably imagining you on fire.

submitted 6 hours ago • 8 comments

I think we've officially entered the timeline in which the expression "It could always be worse" no longer applies.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

“Coup-coup-bi-doop!” - Red-pilled Betty Boop

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

The Mrs. Roper collection is now available at Burlington!

submitted 20 hours ago • 14 comments

Tried looking on the bright side and all I could come up with was the possibility of getting launched into the sun.

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

I've been quiet here for awhile, I've been dealing with the grief of losing this beauty. Miss Honey was the best, and I miss her dearly. 🩷🩷🩷

submitted 7 hours ago • 12 comments

I know everything I know about New York City from The Wu-Tang Clan and Taxi Driver and The Muppets Take Manhattan.

submitted 16 hours ago • 8 comments

I’m not surprised but also you should know better than to mess with Dolly.

submitted 18 hours ago • 137 comments

It’s almost capris weather!

submitted 10 hours ago • 10 comments

No, you can’t have this headache. It’s a MYgraine.

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment

I hate that the "finding out" phase is hurting the rest of us too.

submitted 1 day ago • 39 comments

I just can’t believe we have to figure out what to eat for dinner EVERY night forEVER

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

Taco and bathtub content 😎

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

looking back, AOL had it right. 30 hours of internet per month was the right amount.

submitted 10 days ago • 212 comments

Gulf of go fuck yourself

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

it was always you, i whisper to a reese's peanut butter cup

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I'm having a mid-life crisis. My life. It's incredibly Mid.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Please shovel your elderly neighbours' driveway and sidewalk today

submitted 10 days ago • 11 comments

I'm sorry that I can't respond to each of your replies, but I have a job that I'm not paying much attention to either

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

I'm not even sure I can eat anymore faces, I'm pretty full of face actually -Leopards right now

submitted 13 days ago • 79 comments

Anyone feel like engaging in a years-long rap battle? NOTE: Applicants *must* have more flaws than me, up to and including an inability to rhyme.

submitted 13 days ago • 6 comments

There's a buy one get one free sale on your mom.

submitted 15 days ago • 8 comments

My afternoon plan 📖♥️

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 15 days ago • 5 comments

Remember, calories don’t count during Super Bowl weekend or during a steady and inevitable descent into madness so

submitted 15 days ago • 245 comments

submitted 15 days ago • 276 comments

Possibly terrifying, possibly good for the environment if literal: Applebees

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

Keep your flowers, this is what I want for Valentine's Day 🫠🥰

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Look for the one who will be the Darren to your Samantha.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Stranger: Want some candy? It’s in my van. Me: *eagerly climbs in Are you murdery? It feels like you might be murdery.

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

God was the first person to say how do you like them apples #joke

submitted 16 days ago • 6 comments

My therapist called me, “the very worst kind of dumpster fire,” then told me to get out and never come back.

submitted 16 days ago • 16 comments

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

I am straight up not, and I can not stress this enough, having a good time.

submitted 16 days ago • 9 comments

Me and whomst.

submitted 16 days ago • 5 comments