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taverncat.bsky.social
I'm a cat trapped in a tavern...
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In the year of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ it's 2025 and Rick Moranis just kneecap to me

Quick update Rick Moranis actually just told me that the ant is his and he's just being a little stinker not very cool Rick not very cool

Okay guys I just ran into Rick Moranis in The Green Room and he ended up saying that the ant is not because of him I'm kind of getting freaked out where did this Aunt come from and why does Rick not know about it

I don't mean Aunt as in like my Aunt Deborah I meant Aunt as in there's a little tiny ant on my finger right now and I'm pretty sure Rick Moranis has something to do with it

When comedian is in a green room in Columbus Ohio and an aunt ends up crawling on his hand he tried to be funny but what the f*** do I do with this Aunt it's been on me for half an hour

Did you know in the year 1987 I wasn't alive or was I there's an ant on my phone right now

Stage in my life where I like to get on stages so there's stages on stages where I'm getting on stages if I get off the stage is that a new stage in my career there's an ant crawling on me right now ain't that a funny little thing

If I'm bald and I rub my head three times in a row what would you need appear or will I just get sucked into a black hole am I the genie now

Before I go to a meeting of the juggalos I always make sure I can juggles because context clues are for the smarts

Finding Nemo is for people who love MELVILLE. I DONT HAVE A JOKE YET BUT ITS COMING

I've recently realized I'm funny... other people have yet to get the memo

I've come to the conclusion that when bombing on stage it is best to not start crying. Wait until you hit the green room.

@lowcarbcomedy.bsky.social wanna do a sketch style show that would be story based like the Animaniacs? I'll be dot. 5 second sketch with a warner brother booty.

@benstiller.redhour.com that's knickerbocker basketball baby benny and the jets

@benstiller.redhour.com damn Bennie what happened to them knickerbocker?

@benstiller.redhour.com Darius Garland about to spark you bozos enjoy the lead while it lasts benny boy

Darius Garland about to spark you bozos enjoy the lead while it lasts benny boy

@benstiller.redhour.com ben why can't old boy make free throws

@benstiller.redhour.com ben what the Knicks are doing to evan Mobley are making me start to severance.

@benstiller.redhour.com cavs about to beat u without our starters. When it comes to sports are you simple jack. Until the day I die when the cavs play the Knicks ill remind you of zoolancer 2 electric Boogaloo.

You wake up. It's midnight. You go for a snack. But you open your fridge to shock and surprise. It's fucking ken ganley. Trying to sell me a stupid fucking Kia.

I want to see ya in a ken ganley kia? I rather ken ganley kill me with a Kia than see a land before time creature personified trying to get me to take a test drive. Jesus christ I think I've died and went to a layer of hell, but not just any level of hell. The ken ganley Kia hell.

The Chicago River still smells like shit because of dave mathews

This basketball thing looks pretty easy. My time to join the g league as the first feline to get a triple double.

@benstiller.redhour.com never mind you like the Knicks and I'm a stupid dumbass

@benstiller.redhour.com cavs whooping your big juicy but rn bozo and we don't even have mitchell or the great white hope ty Jerome.

Somebody help me! #cat #comedy #trapped #old #funny #video

On this day, 1987, Pennsylvania politician R. Budd Dwyer shoots and kills himself at a press conference on live national television, leading to debates about boundaries in journalism. #FilmSky #Television #TV #History #OnThisDay

30 years ago the world welcomed the largest dumbass to walk the earth. That dumbass is me. #funny #birthday #dumbass #popular #bluesky #large #cat

Jimmy's here in Heaven, and let me tell you, it's rare to meet someone who got the 'love thy neighbor' part so right.

Potato chip? #bluesky #potato #chip

Aaron Rodgers Rants To Pat McAfee About Windows 11 Tips And Tricks After Going Down Wrong YouTube Rabbit Hole theonion.com/aaron-rodger...