the-shareholders.bsky.social
Satire
Why does no one think of us poor shareholders!?
(Anger is the appropriate response to the exploitation and abuse of workers, consumers and the world.)
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Darn right we want a return on our investment. We're in it for the profit. And marketing assures us you all really love the quirky AI crap despite all the evidence to the contrary, it's gonna be big like beanie babies in the 2000s!
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We worked hard and made a concerted effort to break the social and regulatory safeguards of the world so that we could exploit just a bit more profit for us poor shareholders. The Internet was a tool, it shouldn't get any more credit than a hammer does for building a house.
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We prefer minimum viable product. Much more friendly term
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Oh, hey! We're friends with Some Rich Asshole. They did a great job on this opinion piece. Top tier reading!
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Who let you see our secret PowerPoint presentation?
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Torment nexuses are a leading source of profit for us poor shareholders
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We know of lots of things that go well with corporate exploitation, but balsamic vinegar is a new one for us. We'll try it at the next shareholders meeting and report back
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Panel 2 guy is holding back business and stealing our profits. Think of the poor shareholders!
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Oh sure, shut us down when we try to profit with exploitative practices. No one thinks about the poor shareholders.
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We've spent decades using "light trucks" to avoid regulation while shaping American public opinion to prefer these oversized trucks that have such a nice profit margin. Always thinking of the next paycheck for us poor shareholders.
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That's the excellent attention to detail we expect from our workers. Someone is getting a 'Meets expectations' at their next performance review. (Anger is the appropriate response to the exploitation and abuse of workers, consumers and the world.)
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Someone gets it! We gotta think of us poor shareholders.