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theakscott.bsky.social
House spouse and perpetual dilettante. If you won't let me flower in the dirt, I'll crack my way through the concrete and blossom there.
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Posts 11 Comments 39

I have no qualms stomping goombas if they're going to walk off a cliff anyway. This seems like a prerequisite for euthanasia specialists.

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

This level is called "Don't Wake The Baby"

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

I always misread the word antichrist as anarchist and vice versa. And, regardless of context, I usually want it to be the one that it isn't. Grass is always greener, I guess.

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

The 1930s gangster phrase "it's curtains for you" means something completely different but still the same when you say it to a vampire.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

Has anyone done a scratch and sniff version of Sense and Sensibility? Scents and Sensibility? Maybe a spooky thriller where John Willoughby is revealed to have been dead the whole time? The Sixth Sense and Sensibility? The Dashwood sisters are now magical tree people? Ents and Sensibility?

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

My deodorant has an expiration date. I'm curious how this will affect the taste.

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

Instead of eating all this kimchi flavored yogurt for probiotics, can we just bury my guts in a jar for 3 months and let them ferment?

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

This painting on the lobby wall where I got LASIK annoys me because Jesus isn't even wearing PPE. I don't need this glowing zombie man sneezing in my wounds or shedding hair inside me.

submitted 16 hours ago • 2 comments

Being "put to sleep" probably sounds a lot nicer to dogs with insomnia.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

♬When the needle hits your thigh, like your life was a lie- that's hormone-ey♬

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Have we stopped to consider that climate change could just be Mother Earth going through menopause?

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments