theakscott.bsky.social
House spouse and perpetual dilettante.
If you won't let me flower in the dirt, I'll crack my way through the concrete and blossom there.
755 posts
101 followers
256 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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"Oh god, am I an ugly cryer? How do I fix that?" Is definitely a thought I've had on multiple occasions.
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If they're people that don't like me after transitioning then obviously they liked the wrong parts of me.
Thinking of it that way makes it a lot easier for me to cherish the friends I still have from that time without questioning their judgement.
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I'm a found sound fan but consent is important. I still have a recording of how rhythmic my wife's breast pump was 6 years ago.
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Dressing up like Mary Poppins and jumping out of an airplane with only an umbrella.
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Wu Tang
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Exactly! You're using Latin slang and still making references to Gargantua & Pantagruel with your vampire friends.
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Your only option is to record it and add a beat to it.
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But jesus might hear you! That's the one day a week that he checks his voice mail.
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This is probably the best way to do it honestly. Friend first then date later. Easier to tell if you're compatible, less likely to hide your flaws, low stakes.
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It seemed like the best/dumbest phrase to say if I was about to open the curtains and toast them with natural light.
But I'd probably have to say it in a film noir henchman voice or the vampire might also get confused.
701 years of pop culture references is a lot to keep up with.
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Sexy household appliances.
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It's a noise thing I think? Like letting your dogs bark for more than 20 minutes or whatever.
You can do gardening on Sunday though because it's considered a hobby and not a chore. It's all unwritten social faux pas type stuff. Except the dog thing, I'm pretty sure they have strict dog laws.
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I lived in Germany for a bit and took some adjustment. Like I can't even mow my lawn on Sunday? I'm just supposed to relax? It took away my ability to procrastinate on Saturdays and just say "I'll do it tomorrow".
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I like that they have elections the one day that most of the country is off work and not some random Tuesday.
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I swear, I just tripped and fell on this accordion.
Oh, the lederhosen? Look, let's not kink shame, okay?
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Javin D Stronk is my favorite Dutch footballer.
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Racing to finish against the pizza guy/gal doesn't sound like the worst idea.
Even if you fail, you still get pizza.
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Quid pro homo.
You sex my back, I'll sex your's.
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Like a mood ring. Hey hun, what flavor gatorade is dampening your heels today?
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For some reason I'm now picturing those old gatorade commercials/ads where people would sweat gatorade but it's just from the feet.
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I think that's some general surgery machine, they couldn't find LASIK Jesus.
But as someone who got LASIK back in 2021, I will say that it is a psychologically painful experience, not a physically painful one. You have to be awake and your eyes are pried open watching it take place.
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My spouse whose feet are either too cold or dripping sweat, approves of this assessment.
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I find it's always best to pay it forward so I am rude to as many people as possible just in case.
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He's on his own personal Toddyssey.
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I'm slightly disappointed when a picture isn't exactly 1000 words but I guess that's inflation for you.
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Toddbert
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Don't let the absence of wizardom stop you from being magical
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That's a really poor attitude to have for a wizard
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Found and enabled, thank you too!
I've only been on Bluesky for less than a month so I still have tons to learn.
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You were the first to inform me that 'alt text' was a thing and now because of that, I learned that meme is "kombucha lady". So thanks.
And I have been doing my best to add alt text to any images because of you, keep up the good work.
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We tried that but then our Roomba kept flipping over.
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You say that like it's a bad thing!
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Wait, you mean them buying a painting of Jesus doesn't automatically bestow divine protection?!
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All I'm seeing is that society has let regular clowns feel too safe and complacent.
The winds of change are upon us, down with the clowns!
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Whenever someone says something like "ooh what smells delicious?" I respond with "oh sorry, that's me, I farted". The look of shock, surprise, and confusion on their face never gets boring. I highly recommend trying it.
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The monkey paw curls and now your refrigerator is broken.
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I support any viewpoint that has me imagining more Tilda Swinton.