theastrolabenr.bsky.social
The layers of Netrunner reporting
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'An original, innovative, well-balanced design!'
Some corps expressed concern about ice not mattering after the breaker was installed, but Asset players collectively shrugged. 'I haven't installed ice since 2017, so I don't see why I should care. Ice is boring anyway. Get blasted.'
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Assuring players that the new name was narratively justified and would fit in the frames, NSG shared a Criminal version of the iconic console for the next core set.
Crim players were not happy. 'We appreciate what NSG is trying to do,' said one, 'but the faction needs a lot more help than this.'
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Allegations swirl around a recent Shaper list that appears to never make a run or have any practical use for a single card. Asked to account for their budgeted 45 credits of expenditures over the next 10 turns, the Shaper pilot only said, "Installables."
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'I've seen some fucked up stuff in my time, but at least Eternal has a points system.'
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Assuring the runner it would be the last time this turn, they swear, local Ob player flicked through their archives while trying to remember their exact deck list.
Once the corp finishes resolving their triggers, the game will continue with runner turn 3.
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'Boat, Tree, Drago -- obvious problems,' said a spokesperson. 'Deep Dive? Also problem. 'Cezva? There's a risk. Esa? No chances. Daeg? Well it would be rude not to.' At press time, NSG was in talks to ban all of Liberation as well, but some advocates argue only RWR needs to go.
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Winning the 2025 prize for Explanatory Reporting, the author, IssuWHACK, thanked the Pulitzer board: 'I get paid a lot for the work I do, but it's the recognition of my peers that counts.'
The author was previously a finalist in both the Commentary and Meme categories.
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The NR Brewing Company suggested today that, "if you can mind control your opponent but still not read their thoughts, Skimming may sometimes give enough information to justify a singleton include in Startup criminal." They emphasized, however, that more research remained to be done.
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Declaring that 'you might as well access' after dropping to 2 cards in hand while running a remote, Criminal player Imma Gonadai expressed optimism about the forthcoming breach. 'The last two times I played against this jnet rando, they never installed a snare on the table, and trust me, I checked.'
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Said an SBT spokesperson: 'We know this basically removes the Criminal faction, but consider it a worthy tradeoff for players more often seeing this beautiful piece by Scott, which deserves to be a part of every game of Netrunner.'
'Besides,' they added 'everyone just plays Anarch anyway.'
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The runner hopes that by including a new trojan package and more t400 Memory Diamonds, they will stand a better chance against their meta's heavy hitters, like Issuaq shell-game and Pravidivost glacier.
"I'll be so happy when I win a game with this list."
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'I was worried I'd have to touch an agenda, but fortunately I got lucky and none turned up. Thank God we managed to drag the round out to a 0-0 draw!'
At press time, tournament officials have still not issued a deck check, saying 'It might be better for everyone if we just let this go.'