Profile avatar
thecolbertson.bsky.social
Go on without, me, I’ll catch up in five minutes. A certified idiot. He/him
203 posts 77 followers 127 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 27 Comments 23

Liminal places I would like to make out with you in: a list Top floor of an old library Atop an abandoned grain elevator On the altar of a Texas church at midnight In the basement of a 1970s house Inside the tubes of an unremodeled 1980s McDonalds playplace 4a.m. at a rest stop on I35

submitted 5 hours ago • 5 comments

ME: thanks for doing my nails GUY BUILDING MY DECK: stop calling it that

submitted 6 hours ago • 5 comments

my name is

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

what

submitted 7 hours ago • 14 comments

A-me, Mario

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

*watching porn* ME: That plumbing work is definitely not up to code

submitted 23 hours ago • 2 comments

So what is this “mental health” you speak of, sounds fake

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Nobody: Men: I HAVE A PENIS

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

Slides into DMs: - Wreck each other’s trains?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I ran out of all my funny skeet ideas. This is it. You’re all stuck with me now.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

“I’m hanging on by a thread” You have a thread? In this economy?? Must be nice.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

“I’m yucking your yum!” they sneered. “Getting my yum yucked is my fetish,” I moaned.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

what if my interests are all of them

submitted 1 day ago • 52 comments

If Kit Kats are filled with broken Kit Kats, how did they make the first Kit Kat ever?

submitted 1 day ago • 25 comments

this shit should be illegal

submitted 2 days ago • 37 comments

Hey baby, let’s go get our names airbrushed on matching shirts of wolves howling in the moonlight while we hold hands.

submitted 17 days ago • 11 comments

It's a little offensive that storms get chased more than me, and I'm only half as dramatic.

submitted 11 days ago • 11 comments

i'm full of love but also microplastics

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

He’s a 10 but he folds his clothes and puts them away rather than putting them in the laundry chair.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

It's okay to run away from reality if the reality is *gestures at everything*

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

If I have to “be on my best behavior” then I ain’t coming

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Don't stress about screwing something up before you even start. First screw it up, then stress.

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

I decided to do my workout in the morning today, and I can’t think of a group of people I have less in common with than morning workout people. I’ll stick to my evenings with the folks who are barely making it. That’s my crowd.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

“Let’s Get It On” is my favorite Marvin Gaye song about getting off

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Live Laugh Locked myself out of my banking app again

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

[during sex] Are you mad at me?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

what if it was spelled 'chorkolate'. do you think that would fix society

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments