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thecolbertson.bsky.social
Go on without, me, I’ll catch up in five minutes. A certified idiot. He/him
210 posts 80 followers 128 following
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Posts 33 Comments 17

Avengers: Infinity Anal

submitted 43 minutes ago • 0 comments

Aries: It’s a great week to try something new like hang gliding or happiness.

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

Send me your finest helpings of attention, please

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

How long of a fall do you think this is? Will I take damage? -me, deciding to get out of bed

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

[first day working at a warehouse] ME: *wearing a house* i seem to have made a mistake

submitted 23 hours ago • 5 comments

I don’t know who needs to hear this but *screams in horror*

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

I feel I have finally matured. Instead of telling people to go fuck themselves, I have embraced the art of sticking out my tongue and walking away.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

So apparently white claw isn't a good kid's soccer treat

submitted 21 hours ago • 8 comments

brains in front of zombies on treadmills will provide a source of sustainable energy for the apocalypse but what do i know i’m just a girl.

submitted 7 hours ago • 5 comments

finally some good news

submitted 18 hours ago • 6 comments

I’d like people better if they were dogs.

submitted 7 hours ago • 7 comments

What is wrong with people who post it’s their birthday then vanish when we wish them well. No reply. No love. We’re out here tossing confetti into the void.

submitted 6 hours ago • 4 comments

Feet so ugly, you understand why your socks go missing.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I whispered into the void, and the void said we should see other people.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

Liminal places I would like to make out with you in: a list Top floor of an old library Atop an abandoned grain elevator On the altar of a Texas church at midnight In the basement of a 1970s house Inside the tubes of an unremodeled 1980s McDonalds playplace 4a.m. at a rest stop on I35

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

ME: thanks for doing my nails GUY BUILDING MY DECK: stop calling it that

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

my name is

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

what

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

A-me, Mario

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

*watching porn* ME: That plumbing work is definitely not up to code

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

So what is this “mental health” you speak of, sounds fake

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Nobody: Men: I HAVE A PENIS

submitted 1 day ago • 13 comments

Slides into DMs: - Wreck each other’s trains?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I ran out of all my funny skeet ideas. This is it. You’re all stuck with me now.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

“I’m hanging on by a thread” You have a thread? In this economy?? Must be nice.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

“I’m yucking your yum!” they sneered. “Getting my yum yucked is my fetish,” I moaned.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

what if my interests are all of them

submitted 2 days ago • 52 comments

If Kit Kats are filled with broken Kit Kats, how did they make the first Kit Kat ever?

submitted 2 days ago • 27 comments

this shit should be illegal

submitted 3 days ago • 37 comments

Hey baby, let’s go get our names airbrushed on matching shirts of wolves howling in the moonlight while we hold hands.

submitted 18 days ago • 11 comments

It's a little offensive that storms get chased more than me, and I'm only half as dramatic.

submitted 12 days ago • 11 comments

i'm full of love but also microplastics

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

He’s a 10 but he folds his clothes and puts them away rather than putting them in the laundry chair.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments