theinternetsceo.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

bunch of employees who work at the government facility where they keep ET wet freaking out because they need five things for the email but all they did last week was spray water on ET

submitted 1 day ago • 68 comments

It would be crazy if the pope died. No pope has ever died before.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

Cows are so cute that we can only speculate as to why humans started eating them. The leading theory is that cows struck first and humans have never forgiven them.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

We need new media.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I hate it when my mansion gets burglarised. What did I do to deserve this?

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

All underwear is edible if you try hard enough.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

A coworker tries to “circle back” on me? I’d send his ass straight to hell. I’d split his ass in twain.

submitted 5 days ago • 6 comments

I've had enough micro plastics, I've taken to eating Chinese takeout containers. Fight fire with fire.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Smoke weed and play NES should be a job.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

If I went into a coma in 2015 and woke up today, I'd blow my fucking brains out.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Some say he started pissin' and never stopped.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

rare serious post from me but there is a strange man standing outside of my window looking in and he's holding what appears to be a big cleaver

submitted 13 days ago • 7 comments

Hot Ones but the guests shove increasingly hot wings up their asses.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

President Trump has issued a new executive order directing citizens to stop being pussies.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Oh, so just because I support racist politicians, cheer on racist policies, and espouse racist ideals I'm suddenly a racist? Grow up.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Beware of this guy I guess

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

I keep telling my wife I want to throw myself down the stairs so I don't have to work. She keeps telling me not to. Now if I ever do fall down the stairs, she'll never believe it wasn't on purpose. And that's why you need to maintain air of mystery even after you get married.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 15 days ago • 79 comments

Excuse me, when was that?

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Whenever I ask "What would Jesus Do" the answer is always the exact thing I wanted to do. The lord works in mysterious ways.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Mom, I swear I'm not doing coke!

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

@amerrill2.bsky.social I've had this idea stuck in my head for literal years, and finally got around to realizing it today. My brainrot has peaked. I'm sorry.

submitted 19 days ago • 5 comments

I'll eat salami in Bologna, I don't give a fuck.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

bunch of employees who work at the government facility where they keep ET wet freaking out because they need five things for the email but all they did last week was spray water on ET

It would be crazy if the pope died. No pope has ever died before.

Cows are so cute that we can only speculate as to why humans started eating them. The leading theory is that cows struck first and humans have never forgiven them.

We need new media.

I hate it when my mansion gets burglarised. What did I do to deserve this?

All underwear is edible if you try hard enough.

A coworker tries to “circle back” on me? I’d send his ass straight to hell. I’d split his ass in twain.

I've had enough micro plastics, I've taken to eating Chinese takeout containers. Fight fire with fire.

Smoke weed and play NES should be a job.

If I went into a coma in 2015 and woke up today, I'd blow my fucking brains out.

Some say he started pissin' and never stopped.

rare serious post from me but there is a strange man standing outside of my window looking in and he's holding what appears to be a big cleaver

Hot Ones but the guests shove increasingly hot wings up their asses.

President Trump has issued a new executive order directing citizens to stop being pussies.

Oh, so just because I support racist politicians, cheer on racist policies, and espouse racist ideals I'm suddenly a racist? Grow up.

Beware of this guy I guess

I keep telling my wife I want to throw myself down the stairs so I don't have to work. She keeps telling me not to. Now if I ever do fall down the stairs, she'll never believe it wasn't on purpose. And that's why you need to maintain air of mystery even after you get married.

Excuse me, when was that?

Whenever I ask "What would Jesus Do" the answer is always the exact thing I wanted to do. The lord works in mysterious ways.

Mom, I swear I'm not doing coke!

@amerrill2.bsky.social I've had this idea stuck in my head for literal years, and finally got around to realizing it today. My brainrot has peaked. I'm sorry.

I'll eat salami in Bologna, I don't give a fuck.

On Christmas, when you're opening your presents, you're really stealing from jesus.

I've been going about my job search all wrong.

Cigars are stupid. Just smoke six cigarettes.

Got busted being corny on main.