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thejosephryan.bsky.social
I live in Portland, OR. I'm here for love, laughter and living.
53 posts 46 followers 104 following
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Posts 42 Comments 7

Blink 182 haters will never acknowledge that maybe if we'd let that hot nurse give the state an enema back in 1999, we wouldn't be in this current mess.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

What's that blue line on your flag for? Is that so folks know you prefer he/him pronouns?

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

What if Rilo Kiley use their reunion to exclusively feature Blake songs?

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

What are some suggestions for getting hot in the New Year that don't involve: eating better, exercise, more sleep or curtailing any vices?

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

"Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet" (Threateningly)

submitted 86 days ago • 1 comment

Hey everyone. My mom is in town, so lets take it easy on the swears and dirty talk for a few days.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Wife watching Quantum Leap: The least believable part of this show is him not checking out his new dick immediately.

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

All the kids want to grow up and be influencers. Nobody want to grow up to be, be a debaser.

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

She let you nut in her and you go and call her a brick in front of God and everyone. Not cool Ben. Not cool.

submitted 113 days ago • 2 comments

Ben Folds: “6 AM, Boxing Day” Five: “Any way we could make that second part 5 syllables? Don't want people to think I'm just Garfunkeling it in this group”

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

The fuck did you just quoth at me bird?

submitted 119 days ago • 0 comments

Followers? What I want to know is who here has the most Kohl’s cash?

submitted 121 days ago • 0 comments

Silicon Valley is seizing the levers of power, but we’re here to help you chart a course through the madness. I’m thrilled to announce SYSTEM CRASH, a new podcast I’ll be cohosting with my pal @bcmerchant.bsky.social. Join us as we dissect the tech dystopia. Starts Friday!

submitted 122 days ago • 50 comments

The most frustrating thing about Bluesky is that none of the popular accounts will ever tell you what high-fiber foods they're eating to stay regular.

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

What if dinosaurs had actually been real?

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

Lawrence the Cable Installer

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone know how I can convert a 401K plan to cans of beans?

submitted 133 days ago • 0 comments

My train enthusiast forum has devolved into pedantry!

submitted 133 days ago • 0 comments

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj4a...

submitted 133 days ago • 0 comments

When I “well actually” you, you’re gonna stay well actuallyed.

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments

I was supposed to get oyster crackers for some soup, but the store didn't have any so I bought Goldfish crackers instead. I'm expecting a call from Top Chef any minute now.

submitted 145 days ago • 0 comments

I’m thinking about getting hot to see if it makes me popular on the internet.

submitted 147 days ago • 0 comments

They're not making the Toyota Tercel anymore? Where I gonna put my Blink-182 stickers?

submitted 156 days ago • 0 comments

What would happen if Bluesky hooked that "show less like this" button up to something?

submitted 157 days ago • 0 comments

Jeff Dunham and Lena Dunham sure do tickle those funny bones don't they? Sound off in the comments!

submitted 158 days ago • 0 comments

Do any of the Disney princesses take thyroid medication?

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 166 days ago • 1 comment

After some research. I have decided not to buy a hot air balloon.

submitted 166 days ago • 0 comments

In the 90's we would tell anyone that would listen about the world being a vampire, but we never stepped back and asked about the world's side of the story. And now we have climate change. That's on us.

submitted 167 days ago • 0 comments

I can’t believe my intentional community called a meeting specifically to vote on whether I have a busted-ass face.

submitted 168 days ago • 0 comments

My emo lyrics have really sucked ever since I went to therapy. Any lawyers know if Dr. Todd might owe me money for making me too well adjusted?

submitted 168 days ago • 0 comments

The kids today only want to listen to podcasts about doing crime. Nobody wants to get out there and do their own crime.

submitted 168 days ago • 0 comments

It's hard to get reliable help with crime stuff

submitted 173 days ago • 0 comments

Every generation thinks it invented scatting

submitted 174 days ago • 0 comments

This younger generation is enjoying things in a way I don't understand and they should stop.

submitted 178 days ago • 0 comments

I feel like I have at least 8 or 9 wolves inside of me.

submitted 182 days ago • 0 comments

apnews.com/article/wnba...

submitted 184 days ago • 0 comments

Please don't buy any baked goods today. I am bidding against a bunch of elementary school children to buy an old playground. I plan to convert it into a new coal fired power plant and they plan to use the proceeds from a bake sale to stop me.

submitted 185 days ago • 0 comments

If an establishment doesn't have the requisite number of number of spittoons, I am forced to assume that their clientele is made up of degenerate spit-swallowers.

submitted 185 days ago • 0 comments

I can't believe Spirit Airlines has a surcharge for having a busted-ass face!

submitted 187 days ago • 0 comments

Thanks a lot Dave Grohl. Based on your behavior, my wife started probing me about whether I had a secret family, and I had to admit that I had an emotional secret family. I am attempting to rebuild trust, so I respectfully request privacy as we work through this trying time.

submitted 188 days ago • 0 comments

I wonder how Dharma and Greg are doing.

submitted 189 days ago • 0 comments