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thenutmegnews.com
Satire, Humor, Commentary - Not Real News, Really
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"Sure The United States Government Is Teetering On The Precipice, But Have You SEEN These 2025 MLS Power Rankings?" www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

Optimists And Pessimists Rejoin Battle To Determine Who Will Get The Utterly Meaningless Credit Of Being The First To Accurately Encapsulate Season www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Optimists And Pessimists Rejoin Battle To Determine Who Will Get The Utterly Meaningless Credit Of Being The First To Accurately Encapsulate Season www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Optimists And Pessimists Rejoin Battle To Determine Who Will Get The Utterly Meaningless Credit Of Being The First To Accurately Encapsulate Season www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

"Sure The United States Government Is Teetering On The Precipice, But Have You SEEN These 2025 MLS Power Rankings?" www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

"Sure The United States Government Is Teetering On The Precipice, But Have You SEEN These 2025 MLS Power Rankings?" www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

"Sure The United States Government Is Teetering On The Precipice, But Have You SEEN These 2025 MLS Power Rankings?" www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 13 days ago • 2 comments

"Sure The United States Government Is Teetering On The Precipice, But Have You SEEN These 2025 MLS Power Rankings?" www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 13 days ago • 2 comments

INSPIRING! This Strange Weirdo Wishes Happy Valentines Day To His Football Manager Save www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

INSPIRING! This Strange Weirdo Wishes Happy Valentines Day To His Football Manager Save www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

American Saves For 2026 World Cup Tickets By Giving Up Eggs, Avocado, Toast, Ramen, Car Payments, Gasoline, Health Care, And Rent www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Simmering Detente Broken As Frontlines Of Soccer Warz Re-Ignite www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

American Saves For 2026 World Cup Tickets By Giving Up Eggs, Avocado, Toast, Ramen, Car Payments, Gasoline, Health Care, And Rent www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

I've always appreciated the hard-hitting coverage from embedded reporters of TNN.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Simmering Detente Broken As Frontlines Of Soccer Warz Re-Ignite www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Letters from the Soccer Warz.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

In the moment and up to date: your trusted news source during the Soccer Warz

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

We will have wall to wall coverage of the Soccer Warz with our embedded journalists traveling with the USL foreign legion attempting to shell Appomattox.

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Mustache Of Tom Bogert Gains Sentience As It Breaks League Transfer On Personal Bluesky Account www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

Oh my god 🤣🤣🤣🤣

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

'“What Bogert was unaware he was doing was educating and infusing the mustache with human essence,” stated neuroscientist Dallas Henderson'

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

Mustache Of Tom Bogert Gains Sentience As It Breaks League Transfer On Personal Bluesky Account www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

Major League Soccer Offers Drake The Chance For A Rebuttal During 2025 MLS Cup Halftime Show www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

“This could be your chance to take down Kendrick AND Pusha T,” stated one energetic Millennial on the MLS outreach team. www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breathes…* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

Major League Soccer Offers Drake The Chance For A Rebuttal During 2025 MLS Cup Halftime Show www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

Soccer Supporter Celebrates Successful Agile Scrum With In Office Pyro Display www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2018...

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Rock n rye or it's rocks in your eye

submitted 24 days ago • 2 comments

Detroit City Broadcast Turns Into 90 Minute Debate Over Faygo Flavors www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2017...

submitted 24 days ago • 4 comments

10 Years Of The Nutmeg News www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 24 days ago • 2 comments

10 Years Of The Nutmeg News www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Today, The Nutmeg News is celebrating our 10 year anniversary online. Thanks to all of you for sharing, reading, laughing, and hating.

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

😄

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I knew it!!!

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Half Of All US Soccer Accounts Online Found To Be Rocco Commisso www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 30 days ago • 2 comments

Half Of All US Soccer Accounts Online Found To Be Rocco Commisso www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 30 days ago • 2 comments

Soccer Fan Plans To Give Team Another Week Of Preseason Training Before Giving Up On The Regular Season www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2024...

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

American Outlaws To Hold Hearings On Influence Of Communist Atheists And DEI Advocates Within The USMNT Fanbase www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 35 days ago • 3 comments

American Outlaws To Hold Hearings On Influence Of Communist Atheists And DEI Advocates Within The USMNT Fanbase www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 35 days ago • 3 comments

In related news, USL-C side New Mexico United has preemptively chosen to rebrand as New America United

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

The best/worst part of this is I could absolutely see the quotes in the article coming from him. Also now fully expecting an EO to be drafted once someone lets him know there exists a Club America in Mexico.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

President Trump Demands Club América Be Renamed Club Mexico www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 35 days ago • 2 comments

FIFA Reassures Worried Fans That They Won't Be Able To Afford World Cup Tickets Either www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

FIFA Reassures Worried Fans That They Won't Be Able To Afford World Cup Tickets Either www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

FIFA Reassures Worried Fans That They Won't Be Able To Afford World Cup Tickets Either www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

Men In Blazers Announce "Added Time Radio" Podcast For Major League Soccer www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

submitted 37 days ago • 4 comments

lmao. Perfect.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

*Chef’s Kiss*

submitted 37 days ago • 2 comments