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thoughtpainmemory.bsky.social
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If I like it. He makes a sarcastic remark about it. Always saying it's a joke. But then he'll go on to tell me everything he hates about it.

When I try to explain myself he just brushes it off like everything I say isn't that hard. My mind is broken. I'm never going to be the same. But not sure he'll love me enough along the way.

Was always told I had no drive and was directionless.But whenever I talked about dreams growing up (vet,teacher,artist,geologist) I was told I'd never be able to do those I wasn't smart enough. So I stopped dealing. Then got in trouble for not having the dreams they took away.

Current WIPs. 2nd time using oils.

Hes so angry. Always angry. He says it's never at me. But I bear the brunt of it.

One day in school we had a substitute teacher. Mr Heinz (yes like the ketchup). Kids were throwing anything they could.Another teacher came in and asked "won't you do anything?"to the sub.He replied "she's not complaining".

A memory. When I was married my mom wouldn't take my medical need son for a honeymoon more than 3 days. The reason? When she married my step dad I was 6 or 7. They were only allowed to have a couple days of a honeymoon because they had to come because and get us kids. So she in turn punished me.

This account is my word salad of the pain in my mind. Whether that be thoughts, poems, etc. I can't keep it trapped in anymore.