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timkjohnson.bsky.social
Just desperately hoping this will be my final [social media] resting place.
35 posts 313 followers 527 following
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Posts 24 Comments 21

Why would you move your manufacturing to America when next week the tariffs might half, or disappear, or double, or grow wings and fly, or be turned into a goblin, or become an emotion, or

submitted 48 days ago • 108 comments

I have tariffed the penguins that are on Heard Island and which you were probably assuming did not export goods forgive me they were taking advantage of us so cunning and so cold

submitted 54 days ago • 563 comments

Sometimes I am struck quite forcefully by how Trump’s greatest weapon is us: our collective ignorance, indifference, laziness, quickness to anger, willingness to cede reason to a strongman, willingness to believe the worst of the Other. We are his terrible swift sword.

submitted 54 days ago • 119 comments

It will be fascinating to see how drastically tourism to the US from other countries decreases in 2025.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

I believe those devices are called “Cybertrucks”

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

The ‘Leopards Eating Peoples Faces Party,’ now coming to a face near you.

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

Just leopards eating people’s faces from top to bottom.

submitted 165 days ago • 0 comments

Happy "It was warm enough in Minneapolis to put up Christmas lights" to all who celebrated this weekend.

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

“I’ll stop drinking if you let me run the Pentagon” is maybe the most alcoholic thing anyone has ever said

submitted 174 days ago • 311 comments

What is the worst pasta and why is it angel hair?

submitted 174 days ago • 0 comments

like I understand where you're coming from here but they very much did cancel jesus.

submitted 179 days ago • 396 comments

I don’t think it will all fit in there.

submitted 188 days ago • 225 comments

“Sir, what kind of adhesive should we use for the price stickers? One that just comes off easily?” “No, you stupid child. Use the adhesive that will never, ever come off with any amount of scrubbing or scratching or rubbing. That’s how our customers know they’ve bought something of high-quality.”

submitted 188 days ago • 1 comment

Am I the only one that saw this and thought, "I couldn't fit this in any one of my kitchen drawers"

submitted 189 days ago • 0 comments

Absolutely beautiful morning at Clark Lake in Nisswa , MN.

submitted 190 days ago • 0 comments

This has real Minnesota workplace energy: "Ope, just goonna cut off a bit of that donut there, sorry."

submitted 193 days ago • 0 comments

Looking forward to learning how appointing an accused child-sex-trafficker as AG and a suspected Russian asset as DNI will lower the price of eggs

submitted 195 days ago • 163 comments

Do you think Ariel ate the scallops whose shells she wears as a bra or that they’re still in there and that’s how they’re suctioned to her boobs? Boss: I meant any questions about the presentation.

submitted 195 days ago • 394 comments

I’m also going to behave strangely until this resolves. Wait, you were talking about Trump being elected, right?

submitted 195 days ago • 0 comments

Matt Gaetz as attorney general is the epitome of “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

submitted 195 days ago • 0 comments

Literally reads like one of the episodes in the last season of the Apprentice. Jazz hands stunts by pathetic attention seekers who were utterly ignored in the look-at-me-mommy period of their lives and now making us all pay for their trauma.

submitted 196 days ago • 143 comments

The thing that’s hardest for me right now is that every person I know who studies history is very worried, and everyone who has the memory of a fruit fly seems really excited.

submitted 196 days ago • 2 comments

The plural of anecdote is not data, thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

submitted 576 days ago • 5 comments

Weed has been legal in Minnesota for a few months now. I suppose we were always going to arrive here at some point.

submitted 576 days ago • 0 comments