travisturner.bsky.social
editor in chief @ Evil Martians
145 posts
292 followers
250 following
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I’m so excited for you, too.
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Hello, yes, of course, this was all an elaborate challenge. I’m impressed you made it this far. DM here and I’ll “fix” them.
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Go ahead and pop on “Two Against Nature” by Steely Dan, of course
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I’ve said enough on this matter. My review: I don’t like the song and it was a meaningless waste of my time.
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Alright, count me in!
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Agree. I admire the people who keep trying… even if they kinda suck. Discipline and dedication is so much more important.
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Thank you Mr. Wood 🙏
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Me too. Sometimes you need a writer.
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That’s just peak stroopidity.
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Unfortunately, with the shame of my late fees, crossing that threshold is too much to bare.
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The moral of the story, dear readers, is as follows: always set the bar extremely, extremely low.
Why? Because you can only go up! And the lower the bar you’ve set, the smaller the necessary increments to impress.
No, changed my mind. Here’s the real moral: white socks are comfier, F the haters.
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But, the thing is… I didn’t do shit.
I just wore a black pair of socks instead of a comfortable white pair of socks. Socks no one would ever see unless I lifted up my pants legs to show them off, which was a problematic prospect all its own.
So what is the moral of the story?
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She was so impressed. The others clapped, too.
She said I got the “miss congeniality” award. I’m sure that reference made sense to someone, but not to me. I did, however, realize that I wasn’t being laughed at this time.
Even more shocking: she accounted — I was promoted!
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Sure enough, Jennie couldn’t resist. Sometime later, it was time for another inspection. This time I was ready.
When it was my turn, I lifted up my legs again, revealing my cheapo dress socks.
No one laughed. In fact, Debbie… err, Jennie… clapped.
What?!
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The next day, I scampered off to buy some black dress socks. Of course, I didn’t know if there’d be another inspection, but why chance it? Debbie Hoskins might make us do it again. (Oops, did I just say her name?)
I meant to say, “Jennie Dawkins”, of course.
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Lift up those pant legs, she said.
I complied, like a bitch.
There for all to see were my dorky white socks. I figured no one would ever make me show those, and again I wanted to save money. Everyone laughed.
What a fashion-less fool…
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Eventually it was my turn to be inspected. Poor, pitiful me. I didn’t stand a chance. This was to be a complete inspection. I was broke as a joke and was doing my best to meet our dress code. But it wasn’t enough.
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I knew it. They aren’t even TRYING to hide it anymore. It’s all right there in plain sight. What’s next?
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Or: I just can’t draw good and want people to see approximations of the pictures inside my head, like this one:
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We can all experience books