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trivieri.bsky.social
I’m here looking for sanity. WTF is going on! Not interested in Crypto! DM’s from strange boudoir ladies will be ignored!
185 posts 3,332 followers 8,323 following
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Posts 42 Comments 8

The Yeti sent me a huge pile of snow, then sent me a message saying "get my drift?"🦧🌨️

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

I invented a new kind of paper that doesn't cause paper cuts. When I tried to sell the idea to the paper companies, they rejected it for not being cutting-edge enough. 📃🔪

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

People associate Isaac Newton with Gravity, but his son was also an expert on the topic. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. 🌳🍎

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

My friend Jay had twin girls. He wanted to name them after him. I suggested Kaye and Elle.👯‍♀️

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

What did one Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool ranch. 🚜👨‍🌾

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

My telescope crashed into my microscope. It’s now a kaleidoscope. 🔭 💥 🔬

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

@fordcanada.bsky.social can Ford offer an Ford Explorer ST experience somewhere in Canada. I’m asking on behalf of myself and every other Canadian Explorer ST owner?

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

When Chuck Norris was born. He drove his mother home from the hospital. 🏥👩‍🍼🚗

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

How do you have phone sex? Push the pound key!☎️#😘

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I got myself a seniors' GPS. Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination, it tells me why I wanted to go there. 🧭🗺️

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I bought my wife a coffee by walking 8 blocks in -20° weather wearing just a t-shirt, all to prove a point. It started when she claimed shivery was dead.❄️🥶☕️

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Whose idea was it to have Gretzky out for Canada?

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

"I'm tired, it's snowing, my vote doesn't count for much, my hamster is pregnant, the dog ate my voter card" Democracy sometimes involves getting out of the house. Yes, DoFo has made it difficult but unless you want to be stuck with him, get 'er done! Vote and encourage others to do the same!

submitted 10 days ago • 9 comments

Dick Van Dyke had to change his birth name because it was too offensive. Seemingly Penis Van Lesbian isn’t very popular in Hollywood🍆🇳🇱👩‍❤️‍👩

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons. José & Hose B.🧯👨‍🚒🇲🇽

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

My neighbor just got arrested for ruining our community garden. They charged him with disturbing the peas.🫛🚓

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Mashed potatoes are just Irish guacamole 🥔🥑

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My buddy used to circumcise elephants. The pay was terrible. But the tips were massive.✂️🐘

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

I saw someone holding a pair of boots to his ears. Apparently he was listening to sole music.🥾🦻🎶

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

How do Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head solve their arguments? They hash it out.🥔🗣️

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realised it was a stereo type. 📻📶📡

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

The coffee shop had a sign that said: “No WiFi, pretend it's 1973!" So, I paid 10c for my coffee and lit a cigarette.🚬☕️

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

So taxes are basically like the annual subscription to living in this country, and childhood is your free trial.💲💸

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 20 days ago • 3062 comments

I struggle to eat burnt bread. I’m black-toast intolerant.🍞🤢

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

I'm struggling to get the slack out of a rope even after instruction. I guess some things just can't be taut. 🪢📿

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

Am I “into” cars? Buddy I get into one almost every single day.🚗🤷🏼‍♂️

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

I knew a man who chopped down trees in his sleep. He was a slumberjack...😴🪓🌳

submitted 23 days ago • 1 comment

The biggest threat to Ontario and Canada is not Trump. It is Ford. By privatizing hospital services, Ford is paving the way for American companies to buy up our healthcare system and rent it back to us at exorbitant prices enriching his party and the profits going towards buying politicians.

submitted 34 days ago • 4 comments

I was gifted some colourful socks for christmas. They say Jesus dyed for our shins.🧦✝️

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

Can't take my dog to the park anymore. Ducks keep biting him. Should've seen it coming, he is a pure bread 🐕‍🦺🍞 🦆

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

How many republicans does it take to change a light bulb?… none! Trump tells them it’s changed and they all sit in the dark believing him! 💡🐘

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine if dogs could drive. How many accidents they could have forgetting to put the car in Bark. 🐕🚙

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

You're sick, Telehealth has advised you to go to a ER. You get worse and dial 911. You're taken to one but find a Closed sign on the door. Do you hang around until you hear angels singing? Drive to the nearest ER, 100s of miles away? Solution: Vote Ford's porcine ass out. It's preventive medicine.

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

How many skunks does it take to make a stink? Just a phew.👃🦨

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Why did the knife dress up in a suit. Because he wanted to look sharp!🔪

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Holy ****

submitted 30 days ago • 664 comments

@corybooker.com hello I used to run the Wendy’s Twitter account and I am begging you to let me help you with the dems social media strategy, I will literally do it for free at this point

submitted 30 days ago • 1958 comments

It can be very tiring climbing some mountains in the Himalayas. Because you don't Everest. 🏔️🧗

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 31 days ago • 4 comments

Pete Buttigieg responds to Trump’s vicious nonsense.

submitted 31 days ago • 407 comments