turnedtofire.bsky.social
Fandom/media thoughts and news/politics (mostly UK, esp NI) commentary. Expect long threads.
Queer, survivor, disabled, AuDHD, not here for your transphobia, racism, ableism, or abuse apologism.
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There’s an excellent paper I read on this a while ago. journals.publishing.umich.edu/phimp/articl...
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You cannot stop thinking when an identity is presented to you as an argument.
You have to actually engage with the argument on its own terms.
Someone's marginality makes their perspective rarer and often neglected.
It doesn't make it true by default, or even *progressive* by default.
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There is, unfortunately, a tendency towards credulity in academic and popular discourses, where epistemic authority and identity are cited as sufficient rationale for an extraordinary claim.
Yes, my epistemic authority bolsters my claims ... but you'll notice I still *fucking explain myself*.
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People can apparently afford it when they want to engage in simplistic Brit-baiting but not when it comes to engaging with the complex realities of a place where inequalities have been allowed to fester for a long time. They also seem to be assuming we have no talent or drive to offer.
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Agreed - it's made me a person who can't tolerate other people being bullied in front of me, and I will hold my ground about that.
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In all honesty I tend to be deeply ambivalent about it, mainly because the intersectionality of it all has led to some bad experiences of services. But I'd hate to leave people thinking there's no community for them to join if they come out - I reckon seeing options can turn that "if" into a "when".
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I'm sorry to hear it. 💜
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I'm gonna look into it! Idk what the expectations are re being on-camera, but if it's not on possible to do safely this time, then at least I'm a hell of a lot closer to the point in my life when I'll be able to come out on my own terms. I hadn't realised there was a meetup every three months!
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Lol it's literally the Bi+ World Meetup in three days' time:
biplus.nl/biplus-world...
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Want bi+ community building: behold! (Bi-hold?)
@biprideuk.bsky.social
@wearebiscuit.bsky.social
Bi+ Ireland: linktr.ee/biireland
AmBi: www.ambi.org
Bi Women's Quarterly: linktr.ee/biwomenquart...
Bi History: bihistory.wordpress.com
Bi Irish: gcn.ie/trailblazing...
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I would like to end this thread more positively than it began, so if you are struggling to know if you are "bi/pan enough" please take this as your sign: you are. You do belong with the rest of us.
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There were various incidents over the years when things said by friends - both lesbian and bi - actually pushed me deeper into the closet. That's also common. If we don't acknowledge THAT as a problem in the community we risk marooning people and making them think they don't belong.
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You might say that my finally accepting that I was bi threw a magnifying sheet over my whole situation. It wasn't the only factor (there was some scary as hell ableism going on, for one thing) but I think a lot of us have had experiences like this. The idea that I chose safety by hiding is vile.
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And I knew that it would be safe for about five minutes, while he congratulated himself on how progressive he was, and then it would be the death of a thousand cuts and also that he would never admit to feeling threatened. But things that enlarged my life often did get treated as threats by him.
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Because I could see that if I came out in my abusive relationship (a VERY common situation to be in for bi women), then things would get worse for me. It was one of the things that helped me understand how unreasonable the abuse was: I knew it should be safe to fully embrace my identity.
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Too bad that BlueSky doesn't want me to actually tag them (have tried multiple times, rewrote the post, removed a swear word NOT aimed at a person but descriptive of the level of inaccuracy they're peddling) but whatever.
I fought SO HARD to escape in part so that I could be in queer community.
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The idea that bi+ people are cowards coasting, safer by avoiding involvement in the community is dangerous and ill-researched, and @theadvocate.com.bsky.app should know better at a time like this. Try being a bi multiply disabled abuse survivor and see how easy it you find it.
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We really lost something when every sweet shop and newsagent stopped having a section for things at 20p and under. Now you have to want a multipack for £1.50, but they don't always make them for things whose appeal was very kid-centric/that you don't want daily but intermittently intensely crave.
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Dunno if you read the original thread, but it turned out that the programmer OP whining about political correctness was completely wrong. Contrary to what he said, Zillow is full of listings with "Master Bedrooms" & Github is full of "Master" threads, so he was totally full of shit.