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enabled enabler laziest perfectionist assuming final form "He's not that popular. He has no friends." -Stan Lee ʲᵒʰⁿ ¹⁹⁶⁸ ʰᵉᐟᵗʰᵉʸ ᴾᴺᵂ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵃʸ ᵗᵒᵒᵐᵉᵗᵃ
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a man walks into a bar five minutes later, another man walks into the bar the third man ducks

Two Men Go Krogering, One Man Leaves

Today is a great day to eject your inner cop and be free. Let that shit go.

l'existence est du pain

🐷

Just a reminder that this is today. I’ll be there in about an hour - come say hi!

Say what you say, but give me that bomb beat from Dre Let me serenade the streets of L.A. From Oakland to Sac-town, the Bay Area and back down Cali is where they put their mack down, give me love

hey bud - me in my garden every spring

having a whole life where I mean to say something relatable but instead I say something that warrants a wellness check

Los Angeles, 1937 the more thing change...

as Bluesky’s premier maritime law expert, I can say with authority: the Israeli military can go fuck themselves

marco rubio about to get another job title lol

one reason i roll my eyes at professional commentators who have made reasoned discourse their brand is that their actions clearly demonstrate the extent to which they believe that certain people — anyone who disagrees with them in a serious and fundamental way — are inherently unable to be reasoned

5 years ago

A gulag just for 40 something South Park guys

The spider that startled little Miss Muffet was named Nature because Nature finds a whey

Not sure why they call penguins small, fightless birds, those lilttle mfs got hands

I stayed up nights for years programming Waymos to feel pain but it was worth it

I’d rather be a tree, but it seems like the trees are never hiring

You can't run from your problems, but you can start a huge fire as a diversion.

Huntington Beach, c’mon down to the Civic Center!

*gently holding two potatoes* hey you

“come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove”

tying cherry stems in a knot with my tongue so they take up less space in the compost bin

still riding the high from that time i tweeted about carol channing and liza minnelli retweeted me. no one can tell me shit.

Give the photographer the Pulitzer Prize

when I was little my sister and I would pretend our farts came out as little orbs that we could throw, and what I'm saying is I wish I could throw my fart orbs at ICE

This is not just revisionist history, it's ignorant of reality. Activists didn't leave Twitter because they "thought they would be more effective" somewhere else, they left because Elon made it clear that he would *deliberately undermine their influence." Why make shit up?

you're laughing? when a waymo catches on fire it involuntarily plays taps and you're laughing?

When Prince sang, "Y'all know what I'm talkin' about! C'mon y'all, raise your hands!", I raised my hands because I knew what Prince was talking about, y'all

McSeverence

Inside You There is Space For More Wolves