vanderkins.bsky.social
NSFW Vendors/kink educators & this is our stuff. Contact us for orders! We post inappropriate for work/children/church (unless your church is cool)/all audiences things. We're queer, married, makers of kinky shit, TTRPG things, & occult items. Old AF, Tops
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Ellie here: He stuck it in, therefore he won. Women aren't heroes, right? Now I'm pissed. Keira was the hero of course.
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Spouse liked the movie.
I'm annoyed at all the fucked-upittude of the story. I know cocaine & all, but c'mon folx!
This day has already been rather strange.
Now, I gotta weedeat.
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So, to sum up the movie:
"We're gods reborn. We kinda fucked this world up to shit. Umm... sorry about that. But now you, glorious Twink, get to clean up this mess. We brought back your only option for species repopulation. Have fun creating a bunch of super inbreds in charge of a magic crystal.
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Them: "Oh! I remember the most awkward Muppet Kiss of All Time."
#watchingwithellie
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Kira is the hero of this movie who has solved every problem through diplomacy, quick wits, etc. So she must be sacrificed, of course.
But hey, Jen did literally ONE USEFUL ACTION.
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Wait... the good guy side of these creatures can just do a fucking a'cappella quartet warm-up & the militaristic bugs that have been decimating society will just stand down?
What the absolute fuck?
The GOOD GUYS could do that THE ENTIRE TIME?
Why the fuck is there a need for a Twink Muppet?
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Watching Kira use their incredible powers to knock off one of the Skesis & once more... why do they need Jen?
Speaking of: the special-ist boi in the universe fumbled his way into the militaristic bugs' pit.
It reminded me of when a new Twink shows up to a leather bar on Bear Night.
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I forget this was written for kids/people really wrecked on cocaine.
The lead character doesn't have to do much of anything. Everything happens for them. Usually by the far stronger side characters who do all the work & remind the lead they're extra special.
truly, Jen is the Prince of All Twinks.
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Them: "I'm watching this closer than I'm watching Last of Us."
So... there's that?
#watchingwithellie
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Watching the weird militaristic bug things attack a group of people just trying to live their lives & immediately throw them into a cage seems... pertinent, today of all days.
#watchingwithellie
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Spouse conferred with their family. Spouse has indeed seen this movie as a child. However, they remember absolutely nothing. Ergo, it's new to them.
Anyway Jen seems like he's the proto-twink. The one for whom all twinks should be measured.
Which leads me to wonder, where did he keep the shard?
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Watching the Skesis eat is kinda how I see meals at Mar A Lago.
Yeah... we just got political up in this bitch.
#watchingwithellie
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So... the Gelflings, before they even got each other's names, immediately Dream Fasted! Like, didn't even wait to pull one of them out of a swamp! No gloves or NOTHIN'!
Man, the 1980's were WILD.
#watchingwithellie
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The way the plant life is acting starts making think ol' Brandon Sanderson borrowed some ideas for Stormlight Archive.
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<Giant bug things attack Ogra's Lab.>
Them: Like this! [holding up tiny clothespins.]
They then immediately started sending pics of the clothespins to friends of ours who like to bottom for us.
#watchingwithellie
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Ogra: Suns! Moons! Stars!
Me: Clovers! Hearts! Oops.
Them: Mmm... Lucky Charms.
We are a generation whose minds were broken by capitalism & can only communicate in barely remembered commercials from our childhoods
#watchingwithellie.
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<introduction of Ogra interrupted by a commercial for memory supplements. Which means we'll probably have to rewind to remember what Ogra said. Which we wouldn't need if we weren't interrupted by a commercial for memory supplements.>
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"I want to be Ogra when I grow up."
#watchingwithellie
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<First Rewind>
Them: [Giggling at the weird giant bug things] Buggies!
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Them: "There's surely more than 20 beings alive on this world."
Me "Well, yeah. There are slaves."
Them: "Oh. Of course."
The "yummy sounds" that one Skesis (Chamberlain?) makes are very specifically pervy. I feel that in some way this led me down the darker paths.
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The Emperor Skeksis death was immediately followed by an advertisement for a Metastatic Breast Cancer treatment. Which is... you know.
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"His pipe didn't give him any comfort this day."
I chuckled. Because I'm me.
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Anyway, back to the movie.
"A Gelfling?"
#watchingwithellie
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Learned a new phrase in Spanish today, "¡Oh, mierda! ¡Estos blancos son unos bichos raros!"
So... not a total loss.
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The installers fled. They did not make eye contact as they left.
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And that just inside the basement door is a very crude bullwhip I made years ago at the start of my leathermaking journey
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And we just remembered we have a "Humorously Enormous" Dildo covered in Christmas lights right next to the TV.
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Oh!
They discovered we have a bdsm dungeonette on the other side of the basement. And that I have some floggers & a whip hanging up.
They are now speaking in very rapid, very hushed Spanish.
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The installers are being quiet.
Too quiet.
I worry they may be judging our basement.
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The old dryer will be left downstairs. We will use it as a chicken hatchery, I guess?
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Hilariously, as the installers manager called us up to say they couldn't get it down the stairs, the installers took off the door to the basement & are now getting it down the stairs.
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The installers stopped at the doorway, tried once, and are now refusing to try to get it down the steps.
@lowes-official.bsky.social this is a load of fun.
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Good news, they have a correct cord. Sidequest reward is: installers debating how to do things.
I know enough Spanish to know we are unpopular with these folx.
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Sidequest Part 2: we ordered the wrong cord for this new dryer. I may need to run to Lowes to fet a new one of they don't have a correct one on the truck.
Also, the installers are refusing to take out the old dryer/install the new one. Due to "space limitations."
I am rather annoyed.
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<Brief pause while we hurriedly get dressed because we're getting a new dryer delivered.
New question: will our AD&D-addled, middle-aged minds be able to pick up from where we were?>
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I forgot how much exposition was in this movie.
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"It's from the 80's, right?"
#watchingwithellie
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We are hoping it is a thought coming from a place of joy.
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May I suggest Speedball vs Ninja Mac?
Preferably in an amusement park.
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Thank you!!
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#copperjewelry #necklace #daycollar #collar #queershop #coppernecklace #chainmaillejewelry #chainmailcollar