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vigothecarpathian.bsky.social
Scourge of Carpathia, Sorrow of Moldavia. Scorpio. INFP. Likes: paintings, babies, and kittens. Dislikes: pink slime journalism, fast-talking New Yorkers. Current location: basement of the Tennessee State Library and Archives. (Parody/Fanfic account)
115 posts 63 followers 88 following
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Posts 45 Comments 5

OK I lol'd.

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

With everything going on in the world, this account really just can't be funny anymore.

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

Brace for 1000 years of darkness, mortals.

submitted 120 days ago • 0 comments

Is it politically correct to hate Snoop Dogg and Tom Brady equally?

submitted 129 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

Not going to lie, the past two weeks have been hard. I look at all this and think, "I was supposed to be the crazy old guy with megalomania trying to rule and/or end the world." Please send positive vibes. Pictures of dogs, cats, other cute pets.

submitted 132 days ago • 0 comments

I support 1000% tariffs on proton packs and plasma streams.

submitted 138 days ago • 0 comments

The Ghostbusters did DEI by hiring women and minorities. They should all be fired and my 1000 year rule of evil restored. #meritocracy

submitted 140 days ago • 1 comment

You have 30 seconds exactly.

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments

This makes it look a lot steamier than it actually was

submitted 142 days ago • 0 comments

I offered you all tyranny but you chose oligarchy instead.

submitted 154 days ago • 0 comments

He did say "please."

submitted 164 days ago • 0 comments

Not too late to make "obeying Vigo" your New Year's resolution.

submitted 169 days ago • 0 comments

Nobody ever confuses me with Jimmy Carter.

submitted 172 days ago • 0 comments

With that said Elon's "likes of which you have never seen" pale in comparison to what I've got planned. Unless he is planning on buying my pink slime rivers and then claiming he invented it.

submitted 173 days ago • 0 comments

America needs highly-skilled demons, witches and necromancers from other countries, like myself, because your local evil-doers are mediocre like most episodes of "Sabrina, The Teenage Witch." For that reason I agree with Elon Musk that we need to open more doom portals.

submitted 173 days ago • 0 comments

Congratulations to the Iowa State sportsball warriors on becoming cannibals, possibly. www.cbssports.com/college-foot...

submitted 173 days ago • 0 comments

Nihil novi sub sole!

submitted 174 days ago • 0 comments

Have a suitable Christmas, mortals

submitted 176 days ago • 0 comments

Donald Trump, scourge of Greenland, sorrow of Canada. At least when I "considered expansion" I looked at places more exciting than a few acres of snow.

submitted 177 days ago • 0 comments

Going to just hang here telling people "Happy Holidays." I truly am history's greatest monster.

submitted 181 days ago • 0 comments

Evidently the GOP really doesn’t have a problem with foreigners taking over the country.

submitted 181 days ago • 2283 comments

w00t superstition and darkness

submitted 182 days ago • 0 comments

Relatable

submitted 184 days ago • 0 comments

Hey could one of you climate protesters who like throwing stuff at paintings please come toss a Bloody Mary at me? Holidays are stressful. Thanks.

submitted 186 days ago • 0 comments

Feeling cute and or broke, might try suing ABC for "defamation" for no good reason, idk

submitted 186 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 186 days ago • 0 comments

We have a country bloated with rules, starting with the Ten Commandments. Just let the rich and powerful (like me) do what we want and you might live to tell the tale.

submitted 189 days ago • 0 comments

Man, I hope society doesn't collapse. That's where I keep all my stuff.

submitted 189 days ago • 4 comments

As Elon Musk, who currently is the closest thing we have to a reigning evil warlock overlord, would say: "Interesting."

submitted 189 days ago • 0 comments

I once punished an insolent coffee brewer by making him drink an entire water barrel. Memories...

submitted 189 days ago • 0 comments

Instead of letting health insurance corporations choose who lives and who dies, why not let me do that?

submitted 190 days ago • 0 comments

YouTube is a great place to learn new skills.

submitted 190 days ago • 0 comments

Expecting Jim Clyburn to ask Biden to give me a pardon any day now. (Not that I did anything wrong when I tried to unleash 1000 years of evil on the world.) It was the 80s, people smoked on airplanes, it's time to move on.

submitted 192 days ago • 0 comments

Heard there's a job opening in Syria, wish me luck!

submitted 194 days ago • 0 comments

Live your life in such a way that your mommy doesn't have to go on national tv and call you a good boy. 🙄

submitted 197 days ago • 416 comments

Wholesome content.

submitted 196 days ago • 0 comments

Actually kind of shocked that so many on the so-called "left" on here would celebrate the death of the CEO of the Shorten People's Lives Factory.

submitted 197 days ago • 243 comments

:: NPR journalist on-air "hmm" ::

submitted 197 days ago • 0 comments

Got excited for a moment thinking my social media presence was getting me somewhere. Finally, my imminent reign of darkness is going viral, I thought! Then realized this was about Trump. Bring me a child so that s/he may serve as my social media consultant and brand influencer.

submitted 198 days ago • 0 comments

You'll go far!

submitted 198 days ago • 0 comments

Keep practicing, your magic spells and incantations will improve and then you will be a mighty warlock like Vigo! Or maybe you won't, in which case you might accidentally do something really funny, and that's great too!

submitted 200 days ago • 0 comments

Pardon me. I have Grey Poupon.

submitted 200 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 200 days ago • 0 comments

It's been a rough three decades for me too, babe.

submitted 200 days ago • 0 comments