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walkingjalopy.bsky.social
Just a big beautiful adonis sadsacking about
2,920 posts 1,150 followers 234 following
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Posts 28 Comments 22

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

you should be able to set the noise people hear when they call you before it cuts to voicemail because there's no good reason to answer a phone

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

the doctors say i cant swallow explosives and let them explode in my stomach and my stomach puffs out real big and then i burp out a bunc of smoke anymore

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Machines ≠ robots by the way so y'all can chill out yes I still want to build machines yes I want to hunt robots we exist

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

tv reporting iranians likely have "werewolf powers" but, crucially, can use them "whenever" not simply "at the whim of the moon"

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

the "dragon" figure appears in so many cultures because it embodies our most fundamental fear—a guy who's cooler than you in every possible way

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I consign thee to hell, vile whelp! -- possible new catch phrase

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

if you own a boat you can marry people and there's nothing they can do about it

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

30 million dollar smart bullet losing internet connectivity and returning to initial position

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

new yorkers need to hurry up and finish this whole mayor thing so I can go back to thinking of "the mayor" as an abstract concept

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

i'm still on the fence about theories, but apparently somebody did a study and found a ton of evidence for them

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

they make all the food in the grocery store and everyone who works in the grocery store lives in the grocery store .

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

confound archeologists

submitted 401 days ago • 3 comments

happy holiday

submitted 206 days ago • 5 comments

do i need to get a gambling addiction to have a loan shark break my legs

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

under the genius act if you lost more than $150k on nfts you are entitled to the "blood of seven orphans"

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

impulse scrying

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

a gray alien here is going door to door biting the elderly

submitted 5 days ago • 13 comments

the speed limit in parking lots should be 85mph

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t

submitted 5 days ago • 72 comments

blow up the moon blow up the moon

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

I'm being cut to shreds and blown to pieces

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

If an animal escapes the zoo it should be legal to help it get on a train

submitted 7 days ago • 6 comments

bigfoot standing behind me arms crossed, sunglasses, toothpick in mouth

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

this life is slobs vs snobs and i have a message for snobs: chill out baby

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

skynet has sent back a terminator that can reiki heal and is trying to pull john connor into signing up for life coaching

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

For the absolute last time: I *never* said I thought E.T. dressed in the wig and the dress was sexy, I said *I could see why people would think that*

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments