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warped.bsky.social
Anti-tory. Often a clown. Described as 'Asshole' by a stranger on the internet. They couldn't be bothered to spell it arsehole, the correct way. Be whoever you are, and be proud. Being an idiot here since 19/08/23
4,346 posts 494 followers 484 following
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Posts 48 Comments 2

Me: With all the shit going on in this world, and here I'm I feeling like I'm the only person who thinks the TV show Traitors is shit. Friend: Ah, just what a slimy Traitor would say.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

Always remember to arrive 15 minutes early for your appointment so you can be seen 45 minutes later.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

Jesus. Twister in Donegal right now.

submitted 96 days ago • 133 comments

Last time I buy avocados from Tesco. This one looks angry and sad.

submitted 97 days ago • 1 comment

House! Ok, you win the award. Every colour of weather warning in one area. On a serious note, stay safe.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

It's hard work trying to stay above all the hate in the world and not let it drag you down.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah, up that voltage. Let's turn this place into some 80s music video.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Now I'm confused. Is 'Only Bread' like 'Only Fans' but for toast lovers? It looks a mean thing.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

I would watch this, the combo we need.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Even the Gnomes have had enough of this shit.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

It's only a matter of time before he thinks it's spelt the Isle Of White, and wants to invade that as an ideal spot for his Nazi headquarters.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

What are the thumbs?

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Not sure about a yellow weather warning for wind on Friday. I need my own wind warning now.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Bold move.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Excellent new front cover from @privateeyenews.bsky.social

submitted 98 days ago • 3 comments

A simple reminder that many years ago David Hasselhoff and the legend that is Pingu collaborated on a single. Sadly, it was only available in Switzerland. It really is something else.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

YELLOW SPIDER At first glance the staircase at this Windrush London Overground station appears to be ordinary, but if a train stops in the correct position you can suddenly see an orangey yellow insect crawling up the stairs towards you! 😮

submitted 98 days ago • 8 comments

I’ve one clear memory of John Prescott making a difference when I was working in DWP in the 2000s No 10 was heavily briefing a scheme to dock housing benefit for anti-social behaviour He refused to sign up to it & killed it on basis “you can’t have a punishment that’s only for the poor”

submitted 160 days ago • 10 comments

A dog walks into his local employment agency & says in perfect English, "I need a job." Stunned by what she is seeing, the receptionist replies, "Wow, a real talking dog. You could easily get a job with the circus." To which the dog quickly responds, "Why would a circus need an aerospace engineer?"

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

But if you're an MP or a member of the House of Lords stealing money, then that's fine.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

That's a much better name.

submitted 99 days ago • 1 comment

Oh, how nasty.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Trying to find positives. I guess we have the best advert for not doing ketamine to show the kids.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Maybe this song too, from the same album as the other.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

What a song. Seems slightly apt today.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Those with power in business want everyone travelling to an office for work. So those with mobility issues such as wheelchair users can't even work from home? It's bad enough for those with mobility problems that we have a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell. At least it's warm down there.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

With everything going on, has anyone checked that it's not the 1st April? Did someone play a global prank on us all?

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

What the hell? There are actually Excel World Championships. I feel like 'Highlights' might be doing a lot of heavy lifting in the title.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Much of the media describing it as a Roman salute. The fact is, Mussolini took inspiration from the Roman salute. Hitler liked it as it suggested power overlooking and reaching far, so he used it.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Oh, those boobbots didn't last long.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Attack of the rampant boobbots. You can't escape them.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Bloody hell. Simply amazing.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

"Hello everyone. This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

What's the difference between an inflatable dartboard? A mobile phone doesn't, because motorcycles don't have emotional doors! I have no idea what this nonsense is. An ex-boss would always tell it as a joke, and always crack up.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Not sure if I'm talented or got a problem. Maybe both?

submitted 100 days ago • 1 comment

What a day. I wish to forget some of the images I have seen, and yet there seems no escape. To say it's depressing is an understatement. The 'At least it's not in this country' isn't much comfort. That's all I'm going to say.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

This morning stuff is hard work.

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

It's strange. The phrase "Good morning" and "Fuck off" are totally different. Yet I still manage to mix them up.

submitted 105 days ago • 1 comment

Broken cat. Will need to reboot.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Sum up your personality in a gif:

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

What? Doom in a PDF, and playable. Well, a little slow at 12.5 frame per second.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes to sound smart, I just swaffelen a big word into a sentence even when I don't know its meaning.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Scientists find hundreds more genetic risk factors for depression

submitted 106 days ago • 3 comments

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

What's your sign? Found mine.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Being a political journalist must be a strange job. So much reporting is about what politicians might do, despite us knowing they will say one thing and do another.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Just recalled that when I was young, I was part of a band called 'Sarcastic anus itch' and I am still cringing now.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

I just lost all my ice cubes in the kitchen. But I'm not worried - it's all just water under the fridge.

submitted 106 days ago • 3 comments