williefitz.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

(to gas station attendant) hey man how’s it going. How do I set the pump to sips again? If I wanna drink some little sips? Sips don’t cost

submitted 736 days ago • 13 comments

Ty Cobb: what? Me: stepping back into my time machine I SAID IM A HUGE FAN OF YOUR CORN

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

a surprising recipe for a hot afternoon: fill a glass with ice, top with half iced coffee and half lemon-lime gatorade. Will this be good? absolutely fucking not. totally disgusting. but it is surprising

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Exactly.

submitted 2 days ago • 41 comments

The best way I can sum up Gristede's is, the one and only time I went to buy meat at one, I saw a woman poking a hole in each plastic-wrapped chicken container, sniffing it, and putting it back. When she saw me looking, she turned to me, shrugged, and said, "I just can't keep returning rotten meat."

submitted 2 days ago • 14 comments

lets go wiz ards clap clap clapclapclap

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Still some spots available!

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I laughed so fuckin hard when I realized what the point of this video was

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

in the voting booth hmmm i love his "sewer alligators are real, and that's why every cop needs a blunderbuss" policy... but the sneako thing

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

À la recherche Dew temps / Remembrance of Things Blast -Marcel Proust for Mountain Dew

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Coming this July, only on Criterion… A conversation between me and the great Brian Cox about his career and craft, filmed live at St Ann’s Warehouse! It will be paired with the films we discuss for a wonderful streaming retrospective!

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

my big takeaway from the Finals is that every time they cut to Mark Daigneault, he's making the face of a guy looking up at a grocery store aisle guide. OK Mark, aisle 7 has Inter...national foods. Aisle 8 has asian foods tho she wants soba noodles so would those— god damn it Are they pasta?

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

(sliding out from under The Gyre on a mechanic's creeper, covered in grease) okay, bad news

submitted 4 days ago • 17 comments

important research

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

trying to be formal Jamesiny Christmas

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I think this is just gonna be my go-to response whenever anyone talks about AI to me

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

can't explain why but i feel the brits should spell it "wrobbery." oi my mate wrobbed a bank. took all that sterling

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 10 days ago • 18 comments

WERNER HERZOG: And here we haf the so-called mechanical Godzilla. he iss a clockwork farce, a failure, and it should be no suprisse that he turns on his creatorss. by seeking to kill god, man will uhlways invent hiss own devilss

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers

submitted 10 days ago • 393 comments

everyone bemoaning games going up to $80 is missing the real cost — sin. mario has killed millions. master chief poached one of the last white rhinos. qbert did enron. and by playing their "games" we all are washed in the same vile filth

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

(Seeing two thin-skinned cokeheads crash out in the exact way every single person thought they would) they are doing this as a distraction. What are they hiding

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

yet again

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

(my messenger arrives on horseback and hands you a sealed scroll) Dearest Vivianne, Did you see the count’s hair at the feast last month? lol! Bro looked like a goat. Tried to find you to talk about it but his spies were everywhere. See you in the spring. ✌️

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

introducing zorb: the zoo for orbs

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Me walking out of the bus on MTV’s Next

submitted 19 days ago • 11 comments

sad news today: my nonprofit dedicated to improving confidence in kids by teaching them how to use ninja weapons, Sure-I-Can, has been shut down. according to my lawyer, “cmon man” and “jesus christ”

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

"Bon? Bon, it's me, your cousin Marvin Iver! You're going to want to hear this." holds up the phone to a satyr singing through a YakBak while an elk plays a saxophone

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

ME: yeah could i get the impossible burger with cheese. THE VIZIER WHO'S BEEN ADVISING ME: ahh, an excellent choice sire. an imitation of the genuine article. there are some "friends" of yours to whom it bears a passing similarity ME: you want anything VIZIER: [chuckles] what i want is of no import

submitted 19 days ago • 17 comments

submitted 19 days ago • 28 comments

“Abundance”

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

looking at a bunch of line graphs hmm... these noodles are like, all fucked up

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

who cares if aliens invade earth. what are they gonna do, ruin it

submitted 428 days ago • 22 comments

dipping a switchblade into the barrel of lube and licking it ah bleh ugh uch ah it's so slippery bleh ach

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Showing up to the Slop Meet with a slop thats way too thin and the boys are all calling me 'Broth Bitch'

submitted 224 days ago • 3 comments

You can't, and they're saying you can't. And Sammy—I know Sammy. Mr Cabo Wabo. Cabo, very nice property there. And he said he couldn't drive 55. And it was true. And so now you can. We're saying it, and many people want it, and so now you can drive 55. And I think a lot of people will be doing it.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

you know if silicon valley invented the replicants from blade runner they'd call em, like, Peepl and every nine seconds they'd stop what they were doing and sing, in a completely different voice, "at BK, have it your way"

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment