zeemonkey.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Say what you want about kids these days and their slang, but I LOVE the term “brainrot.” Was my genX ass ever this self-aware?

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

everybody hates on the American South and yet y’all keep moving here

submitted 39 days ago • 1 comment

This is a new image from #JWST. The bright points with spikes are stars in the Milky Way. Everything else is a galaxy. Everything. Else. Is. A. Galaxy.

submitted 46 days ago • 631 comments

Is there a college-aged white man in America that isn’t an insufferable douchebag? Has there ever been one?

submitted 51 days ago • 1 comment

One time when Lucy was around two, she pooped her pants in the car I said “Lucy, did you poop your pants!” “No Daddy,” said Lucy, “Rockso did it” “Rockso pooped your pants?” “Yes Rockso pooped my pants” Rockso is a dog and was not even in the car

submitted 59 days ago • 1 comment

If you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich? If I’m so smart, why ain’t I rich?

submitted 59 days ago • 1 comment

English is a profoundly stupid language

submitted 60 days ago • 1 comment

woke is when stuff costs less

submitted 70 days ago • 64 comments

I’m a Gator, so go Gators

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve never preached or given a homily, but I have often tried to teach a book to a room full of people that didn’t read it so I get it

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

I have tariffed the penguins that are on Heard Island and which you were probably assuming did not export goods forgive me they were taking advantage of us so cunning and so cold

submitted 72 days ago • 561 comments

I grew up a Jew in the south and was regularly told I was going to hell by smiling people who genuinely thought they were doing me a favor. They were helping me. They were giving me a chance.

submitted 85 days ago • 16 comments

Hard to be American these days when the whole world is roasting us but we can’t say anything back because everything they say is true

submitted 84 days ago • 1 comment

For every racist Boomer that dies of old age, the internet creates approximately 1.68 new incels, which is unfortunately above replacement level

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

can’t win no winning to be done

submitted 87 days ago • 1 comment

Hey, y’all, I got five of my Lyft stories published in the latest issue of the Apalachee Review. Y’all should totally buy a copy: www.apalacheereview.org

submitted 93 days ago • 1 comment

If I had remained a high school teacher in 2003 instead of trying to do all this extra horseshit, I’d be retired right now

submitted 96 days ago • 1 comment

Knight Rider, I am sorry to say, is woke Just look up the kind of car they let Hasslehoff drive

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

The Wiggles are based

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Jesus Christ had the power to create loaves and fishes from thin air And He just gave it all away like a dumbass He could have funded the entire movement He could have been rich af You’d think the Son of God would understand economics

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

nobody is sufficiently ashamed of themselves

submitted 102 days ago • 1 comment

There are few things cooler than watching somebody who really knows how to do a thing, do the thing

submitted 103 days ago • 0 comments

I reckon I ain’t got no problems more money wouldn’t solve

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

Greece? The Odyssey Italy? The Divine Comedy England? Paradise Lost USA? Huckleberry Finn

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik is the Lyrical Ballads of our generation

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

At a dance competition in Georgia There are an inordinate amount of cloggers in Georgia

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

It will never get better Fuck y’all for lying to me and getting my hopes up

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

I keep paying union dues to prop up lobbyists and advocates whose tireless efforts garner a whopping 30% support in the Florida legislature for whatever teachers need It is wonderful that so many good people give a shit yay optimism

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

It’s amazing how many hippies lived long enough to see themselves become The Man

submitted 121 days ago • 0 comments

Y’all keep quoting the black letters to me and I’ll keep quoting the red letters to y’all

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

I simply do not want to be mistaken for the people I would look like if I were clean-shaven and short-haired

submitted 125 days ago • 1 comment

All I ever do in class is imitate professors I idolize Halli, Burke, Eddins, Weber presented in Alabama accent

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

I think one of the main reasons I hate old white men is because I am one

submitted 126 days ago • 1 comment

Trump = Richard II

submitted 127 days ago • 0 comments

VLADIMIR: Well? Shall we log off? ESTRAGON: Yes, let's log off. They do not log off.

submitted 130 days ago • 27 comments

Dudes crying about DEI when the only reason they got jobs is because Daddy made a phone call

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

Shadowrun is prophetic

submitted 131 days ago • 0 comments

“If there be devils, would I were a devil, To live and burn in everlasting fire, So I might have your company in hell, But to torment you with my bitter tongue!” —Aaron the Moor Titus Andronicus 5.1