there’s a chance my wife might get a big promotion soon and one thing that really, truly, baffles me about the “alpha male” mindset is the extreme insecurity about being the most successful one in the family
why in the world would you not want the person you love to be recognized for their talents?
why in the world would you not want the person you love to be recognized for their talents?
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I am so proud of all she achieved and would be a complete douch, and single, if I objected to that.
????????????????
if men grow up behaving they only have value for what they can do, then when they are no longer “the provider” what is left in them that has value? what is left that is worth being loved?
She now out earns me and I'm delighted!
Nah buddy it makes you married to an awesome successful woman, that rules.
Fingers crossed for your wife, Micah!
Some dudes are so wrapped up in needing to feel important but they just come across as sniveling and gross
The rising tide is going to lift all boats. Don't build a dam so you can be the only one who controls the water flow.
I don't get the insecurities from the "alpha males" when somebody obviously works hard to get their spot wherever they may be, regardless of gender or social standing. People should be celebrated for striving to be their best self!
Much later out of curiosity I looked her up. She was now an orthodontist
And THAT is how I blew maybe my only shot at being a trophy husband/kept man
If she doesn't, they get insecure she might leave
I cannot imagine why either of us would be anything but thrilled.
While I don't quite understand the mindset, I think it goes something like:
"If my wife is more successful than I am, I will not longer wield the power. If she makes a suggestion, I will actually have to listen to it. Like she's a man or something."
in the "alpha male" mindset the only person worthy of love is the "alpha male" themselves
And that the fear of domestic labor isn’t just based in part not wanting to be seen as “doing women’s work” *because* women lack power and control.
it’s genuinely demoralizing how being professionally successful impacts my attempts at dating
like i get to see the insecurity play out in real time almost every time a man asks me what i do for work, and i don’t even really want to talk about work!
it’s really sad
on so many levels.
or if i expressed *i* didn’t want to date them because they’re less “successful” than i am. 🙃
So often this arises from a mass of unverbalized (and therefore uninterrogated) assumptions and internal stories making the ego threat and reaction seemingly come out of nowhere.
because the one they love most is *themselves*
they don't like feeling like someone close to them, devoted to them, should be showing them up and humiliating then. their OWN talents aren't being recognised because some other person is stealing it from them
🚩🚩