sure, groceries are getting too expensive and planes are dropping out of the sky every day, but have you considered you now have the Opportunity to invest in DookyCoin, the legal crypto that let’s me steal from you?
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Buy the dip everyone! Fuck $EGGS get $DOOKIE from the next drop tomorrow morning if you don't want to be poor and clean pools for the rest of your life
Honestly, I kinda miss when all the rage with crypto scams was NFTs, at least they were kind of funny to mock. Now it's just "Bro you gotta invest in $FARTCOIN it's up 32 Plibbles on DikGash." 😐
Awh, fuck. I already invested full in on DIP$HIT$ coin because the guy said if I got 75 people to invest Elon would pay me fraction shares to my X - The Everything App bank account for every person those 75 signed up and a portion for every person those people signed up and.......
this is a huge opportunity to prove you have the Entrepreneurial American Spirit™️ powerful enough to give me your money. all of it. life savings and some extra. i promise it’ll quintuple. i won’t pull the curtain back. the glasses and plates are gonna stay on the table and you won’t be cut by glass
We're putting planes on the blockchain.
And you can use multiple slurp juices on the planes.
Are you understanding that that means if I have two slurp juices, I can make 2 separate and unique planes?
And we’ve threatened military action against Panama, Denmark, Mexico,and Canada.
We’ve ceded the Pacific to China.
We’ve abandoned NATO.
We’ve abandoned Ukraine.
Civil service employees are being fired or resigning in protest.
But at least we don’t have a black woman president.
Sounds risky but Fortune Favors The Bold, like Pliney said right before he ignored all the warning signs and sailed towards the volcano that killed him
Sounds like *you* haven't considered that *I* (the main character of reality) would of course be on the correct end of all crypto schemes and would never be the one losing money myself.
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"You, the bank, are an entity as defined by human law. I am not a human. I am a bird. I demand a peckfight to the death, as defined by bird law!"
Then flap wings, squawk loudly, and display that brilliant plumage!
And you can use multiple slurp juices on the planes.
Are you understanding that that means if I have two slurp juices, I can make 2 separate and unique planes?
We’ve ceded the Pacific to China.
We’ve abandoned NATO.
We’ve abandoned Ukraine.
Civil service employees are being fired or resigning in protest.
But at least we don’t have a black woman president.
Homer: Woohoo!
Do you have any other things I could burn money for?
At least one good Crypto exists.