The verification badge on Bluesky means the user is an elected official of the United States government. - ThreadSky

bencollins.bsky.social • 58 days ago

The verification badge on Bluesky means the user is an elected official of the United States government.

Comments

beckybunzy.bsky.social•58 days ago

I’m a Baroness, Ben. I deserve one.

dbcii.bsky.social•58 days ago

Can it get me into a Signal group chat?

punkey.org•58 days ago

Congratulations SecDef Tim Onion

eyesontheright.bsky.social•58 days ago

Does this mean you can nominate me for a Cabinet position? I wash my hands and my mom doesn't hate me so that's two things in my favor.

truebluemama219.bsky.social•58 days ago

🤣

bkelsey91.bsky.social•58 days ago

That qualifies for President now too

medinasod.bsky.social•58 days ago

Do you enjoy day drinking? Misogyny?

russellsilva.bsky.social•58 days ago

Sorry, you're not qualified. Not enough experience abusing women.

andrealessi.bsky.social•58 days ago

Yes, but it's a cabinet from Wayfair so it doesn't come with a salary.

knancy.bsky.social•58 days ago

Yeah, but it might come with a cute kid.

clevelandbrowns.bsky.social•58 days ago

Sadly I don’t think there is a chance I get one

crithon.bsky.social•57 days ago

Dang it, I was just gonna elect the Justice League!

delcodeleche.bsky.social•58 days ago

Here we go

pensiveantics.bsky.social•58 days ago

Well NOW it all makes sense…

thekert.bsky.social•58 days ago

Oh well fuck you then

jrrdrbb.bsky.social•57 days ago

Senator Onion

ivyweber95.bsky.social•57 days ago

I just added a blue flower 💠 to my username to fuck with people.

hazydayz.bsky.social•58 days ago

Well then, congratulations Senator Onion.

jakobgamertsfelder.bsky.social•58 days ago

ok, well that's not a good thing.

daveadams.bsky.social•58 days ago

Glad to know you really are “Tim Onion”. You picked a weird username though…

miketaddow.bsky.social•58 days ago

good ,,can you deport luka back to dallas pls

solana77.bsky.social•58 days ago

Oh man! You're fucked now!

null.band•58 days ago

As a subscriber, I am a shareholder. What form should I submit to receive my dividends in small, non-sequential bills in a paper bag behind the boiler?

unclespaceghost.bsky.social•58 days ago

Deep State Indicator

alejandrobriceno.bsky.social•58 days ago

🤣

simulflow.bsky.social•58 days ago

When can I get mine???

lcoleman1998.bsky.social•58 days ago

I made mine 🤣😭

stevesubera.bsky.social•58 days ago

Secretary of Satire

jhaedin.bsky.social•58 days ago

Not verified by The Onion, tsk tsk.

pfiore8.bsky.social•58 days ago

rut roh

remimari.bsky.social•58 days ago

How would you prefer to be addressed? Secretary Onion, Senator Onion, Representative Onion, the Honorable Judge Onion?

vanhaverenm.bsky.social•58 days ago

thank you letting me know, senator.

bluefrommagioh.bsky.social•58 days ago

ah, playing X's and Oh no's!

ginnygram2010.bsky.social•58 days ago

Pass it on

babski.bsky.social•58 days ago

so I guess I better stop joking about murdering you

jaydeedouble.bsky.social•58 days ago

Does that mean you're the Secretary of Agriculture...?

blackstudio14.bsky.social•58 days ago

Hey Tim is it ok if I dm you about something.

bencollins.bsky.social•58 days ago

I only use Signal now.

blackstudio14.bsky.social•58 days ago

You got a link to that

rehydraters.bsky.social•58 days ago

You can jump right on the Signal chats

ccinpa.bsky.social•58 days ago

Congrats on your win.

hoppycroaklightly.bsky.social•58 days ago

"Well, I didn't vote for you!"

wobegon-kenobi.bsky.social•58 days ago

🫡

jeblucas.bsky.social•58 days ago

Pleased to announce our nation’s new Satirist Laureate, Tim Onion.

nickthehoneybadger.bsky.social•58 days ago

The Department of Shenanigans is totally real, I swear

petefullerga.bsky.social•58 days ago

And/or in a signal chat with a cabinet official.

swelljoe.bsky.social•58 days ago

In that case, I've got a lot of complaints.

trawg.bsky.social•58 days ago

Signal in bio

begtodiffer.bsky.social•58 days ago

I am unelected, but that doesn’t stop elon. Waiting🤣

de24.bsky.social•58 days ago

Thanks for the clarification.

rainerschein.bsky.social•57 days ago

That's how it worked on Twitter, too.

abbieadams.bsky.social•58 days ago

I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A FED, TIM ONION

hopefulcynic.bsky.social•57 days ago

Good day Mr.President

falschspieler.com•58 days ago

🫡

wormslord.bsky.social•58 days ago

They gotta get group chats going on here

woitasm.bsky.social•58 days ago

Might as well be with this fucking administration lol

kithrup.bsky.social•58 days ago

I KNEW YOU WERE ELECTED

eltopo71.com•58 days ago

Is that thing only at the planning stage? I don't seem to see any of these blue marks.

duendeonfuego.bsky.social•58 days ago

tim onion are you sec of defense now when can we see you doing pushups

shafawn.bsky.social•58 days ago

This is such BS. Got to ‘em.

First Suckerberg, Bezos & your healthier choices partner, Tim Apple. Now Jay BlueSky. Is nothing left untouched by the slime of Trump corruption? They’re making me go back to the Ice Age—Unfrozen Cavegirl Blogger & a steady diet of raw Mastodon.

ja-a.bsky.social•58 days ago

The Onion should have verification powers.

allaroundswell.bsky.social•58 days ago

Congratulations! You're the new SecDef

4d3fect.bsky.social•58 days ago

oh, rilly?

janhamcam.bsky.social•58 days ago

lol

infinitequestions.bsky.social•58 days ago

As an average person, all I can do is just dream of being verified. I sure wish @bsky.app would add troll and bot badges to all those accounts. Now that would be genuinely helpful.