Elon’s evil munchkins sent this ridiculous email out to all 2 million or so Federal employees demanding they reply by midnight Monday. If you want to let them know what you did last week I’m bet they’d love to hear from you at [email protected]! I can’t wait to tell them about my norovirus symptoms!
Comments
Pop Corn Balls
Things I did last week:
1. You
2. Can
3. Suck
4. Deez
5. Nuts
Love,
All Feds
* Golf
* Fired CQ Brown, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs
* Golf
* Golf
1. Resist, fought back by peaceful picketing
2. Didn’t repeat lies
3. Called my congress person
4. Sought truth not on fox or other MAGAt outlets including Twit-X
5. Talked with class action Lawyer about DOGE lawsuit
Tuesday: took a crap
Wednesday: took a crap
Thursday: took a crap
Friday: ran out of any craps to give
2) I pissed in your Celsius drink
3) I intercepted your lunch order & added a special sauce
4) I doxxed YOUR home address
5) I tried to fuck your girlfriend but you don't have one, you trump elon culty incel
Now, come try 2 fire me
Number of federal employees: 2,252,162
Average minutes replying: 10
Total minutes replying: 22,521,620
Total hours replying: 375,360
Total annual wages: $211,300,000,000
Hourly wages per fed: $45.99
Total cost : $17,263,071.90
7. Drove Kramer to the airport in record time
8. Ate a chocolate bar with a knife and fork
9. Played 18 holes of frisbee golf
10. Brought Pepsi to a party and got praise for it
10. Had a contest with friends about who could go the longest without masturbating.
11. Led former in-laws to be on a wild goose chase to my fake house in the Hamptons.
12. Saved my Frogger score.
13. Ate eclair from trash.
2. Woman
3. Man
4. Camera
5. TV.
Govt employees: Malicious Compliance only.
Mon- ketamine
Tuesday - chainsaw practice
Wed- hung out with dorkdoge
Spread the word
Otherwise, how the fuck do they plan on reading 2 million emails?
They don’t.
AI will do it, and it will learn from the people who will answer so as not to be fired, only to be fired anyhow.
PURE EVIL
We don’t need money in politics. We just need people to participate.
https://www.nationalfinancialplan.com
Days: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5: old fucking Subject Posted disparaging remarks about our senile speed freak King and his dope fiend Overlord on Internet
• updated resume
• sent out resume
• contacted legal council
•checked email
• spent time replying to this ridiculous email
Disturbing af.
2. I tweeted about Elon and his minions being absolute twats
3. I contacted my senator
4. I didn’t ramble through an interview tripping on ketamine
5. I loved and supported my children
2. Joined Indivisible
3. Watched your & Dump's approval slide 10 pts in 3 wks
4. Watched the stock market tank
5. Contacted Reps & Senators to express my total opposition to arrogant, stupid & cruel you and your sadistic friend, Dumpy
2. Said fuck off to trump on tv
3. Sent emails to my US Rep asking what he has been doing!
4. Said fuck off often to Putin
5. Told my Canadian friends how totally embarrassed I am to have such an idiot for President.
2. Said "Fuck you elon."
3. Said "Fuck you trump."
4. Said "Fuck you nazis."
5. Put a down payment on some eggs.
Don’t be a dick. ;)
Oops. Not sorry.
1. Please repost, share, write these sites on someone’s hand in sharpie, etc.
2. Apply this knowledge liberally.
https://bsky.app/profile/tippedbeaker.bsky.social/post/3lip45jl6wc2t
B. They should make the five bullets as long, tedious and boring as possible. Document every time you opened a document, took a call or went to the bathroom.
- Pointed this out to colleagues who also laughed
- Laughed at some Ketted up idiot prancing around a stage waving a chainsaw
- Laughed at someone drawing a Swastika on a Tesla
- Handed my notice in, as I refuse to work for Nazis
How 'bout you?
@youranonnews.bsky.social
charge the canon
"Spent a lovely week in Spain looking after some school kids explaining why Franco was so evil whilst laughing my head off at fascists in the US. Trump and Musk really are morons, aren't they.
Steve"
My reply shall be: Good evening.
A reminder- you work for me. Explain in detail what you’ve done throughout US government agencies into which you’ve interjected yourselves. I want granular details!
Sincerely, US Taxpayer.
☝️
Pretty sure the internet knows what to do...
"I spent all week engaged in classified activities. Details, obviously are classified."
Fuck- make your bullets stupidly long and go for a little malicious paper terrorism as your theme
2. Made zero Nazi salutes
3. Fathered no children out of wedlock
4. Didn't say any things that were "incorrect" (lies)
5. Managed to not use any slurs for the mentally handicapped.
Probably a tax write-off?
2. Dove to the bottom of the Marianas Trench
3. Discovered cheap water desalinization
4. Defeated Ken Jennings at Jeopardy
5. Won the Super Bowl
#5ThingsIDidLastWeek
1) sued by baby mama for child neglect
2) arrived high as fuck at CPAC
3) brought my son to the Oval Office to embarrass Trump
4) fired everyone investigating SpaceX and Tesla for safety violations
5) inflated DODGE savings by billions of dollars
5. Cleaned my guns
I also asked for their five accomplishments this week, due by Monday by EOD.
Copy pasta the Oxford Dictionary for bullet 1
Copy pasta relevant work manual for bullet 2
Copy pasta Bible/Koran/any other religious book for bullet 3
etc
etc?
https://baconipsum.com/
Failure to follow instructions.
This is a test.
Here ya go! 😁
[email protected]
1. I
2. Fucked
3. Elon’s
4. Mom
5. Daily
• Ketamine
• Played with a chainsaw
• Ignored my child’s
medical situation
• Ignored Babymama #77
• More Ketamine
Look at the price of eggs - @realDonaldTrump “I DID THAT WITH @elonmusk -
Btw @elonmusk is retarrrrded!
- Added adderall to the
ketamine
- played with the
chainsaw
- Added pink cocaine to
the ketamine and
adderall
- F#%ked up SS
- Advised Putin
Getting the Nazi drug tested should be next
#Resistance can be fun too.
Musk: great mine fuhrer, all is going according to my plan, just call me Dr Evil, and give me more money
#trump #musk #kakistocracy #muskrat #sedition #impeach #project2025 #criminal #drevil
1) drugs
2) drugs
3) drugs
4) drugs
5) drugs
[email protected]
.
.
.
.
.
👇
[email protected]
2 your Mom
3 your Mom
4 your Mom
5 your Mom
2. Posted on socials that you can get fucked.
3. Posted on socials that you can get fucked.
4. Posted on socials that you can get fucked.
5. Posted on socials that you can get fucked.
Are you hearing this class action lawyers?
This is harassment!
Take Musk for all of his billions!
1. Watched Elon
2. Take a shit
3. On America
4. And
5. Fall back in it
Anything he wants to root out and destroy.
That's why every response needs to be as vague as possible: "delivered actions as agreed" etc
1. kissed Putins ass
2. lied and pissed everyone off
3. played golf
4. played golf
5. played golf
I am not a gov employee, but if I email them a list of 5 actual bullet calibers, will the fbi pay me a visit?
(Asking for a friend)
Ted Bundy charmed the pants of of many...Elon is not our boss
* Attended a protest march against Elmo and the Talking Yam.
* Spent way too much time on social media trying to understand WTAF you're doing
* Went for a swim
* Went for a couple bike rides
* Spent time trying to figure out how to get rid of y'all
"We determined the employee's response was 'inadequate.'"
"Are there specifics."
"No. But as you can see, the termination was for cause."
F*ck you
F*ck you
F*ck you
F*ck you
Oh, and
F*ck you!
• Worked even though I'm exhausted
• Brought my cat for a checkup following chemotherapy
• Went grocery shopping though my ADD makes it unbearable
• Wrapped gifts for my mother who lives in a nursing home
• Paid bills until I had no money left from my most recent paycheck