cousinnudaq.bsky.social
Incompetent top‘a. Eat. Drink. Fight. Coach Gowron’s cuz. B’aht Qul challenge? Hold my warnog. Ketha Lowlands Community College alumnus. Probably +18 NSFW.
1,058 posts
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267 following
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And THIS happened to me!!!! Thank Fuck’lhr for that reverse the neutron flow machine thing we found to send me back to my more youthful and supple body!
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And I beat that charge because there wasn’t enough public evidence to convict!
BOOM BABY! What a Victoria Day weekend it was!
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OH NO!!!’ JUST LIKR GLEN! It’s all happening AGAIN!
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Plus the old raggedy top hat.
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Yeah he was not impressed with the costume.
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This is arguably worse than the year I wore those melons as a thong.
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Yeah, thankfully she’s still over on Birdo, under username @HotMeeMaw699 — so I definitely didn’t mess THAT one up!
I wonder if that used to be her area
code.
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Oh fuck, do I have “Text-to-SkyBlu” on again??! Is ALL OF THIS ON THE INNERTUBES??!!!
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Mostly Meemaw’s hair.
That and some finely powdered Bolian Cheetos.
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Youuuu knowwit!
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Falcor. FACLOR.
And definitely not Fuckcar.
Or Fu’ck lhr — the lord of the sex underworld.
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This pays in ham, right? I didn’t actually read the job description.
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First — I got that suit from … fuck. Did I find that in a washroom at a Wendy’s?
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WHAT?? Fine. Fine fine fine.
Brad! BRAAAAAAD!! Shut it down bud!!! Leave it parked ‘round the back of the garage.
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Want some? It’s VERY hoppy! What with the pants and all.
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Those are both WAY less holey than mine.
Although, with all the pubes, you can’t really tell the difference.
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Oh no!! All my special Cheese O’Brien flavoured bathtub beer yeast!!! It’s EVERYWHERE!!!
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That’s who those guys were?!!? They kept daring me to lick and snort things.
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Literally what I did on my birthday!
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Awwwww yeah!!! It’s sentencing day! We’ll set the over-under at 21.5 days!!
Any takers???
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I don’t even know anymore man.
The guy at Burger King this morning took my order and then said wakka wakka wakka.
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Just like Muppet Pirate Tim Curry!
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Yeah, this is all just cumming together all over me now.
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I HAVE TO TELL IT FREQUENTLY OTHERWISE I CONFUSE IT IN MY MIND BRAIN WITH MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND!!!
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That’s the one where you do bass to trout right?
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Sure, fire away bub!
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It was a plot twist — the guys WERE muscly fishes!!! Just like right out of a Midnight Sharona movie.
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I really misread that and was about to be upset about being accused of bass-to-mouth again. Or was it ass-to-trout.
Anyway.
Probably.
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Yep. It’s part of my Streets Ahead seminar.
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I am also not allowed to violently jerk stuff anymore either.
Too many weird hospital trips.
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Also what was this about pie? Like the eating kind or the EAAATING KIND??
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I thought that was the Gorn who took over my paper route and I was PISSED!
Turns out it was still my job and I just hadn’t been doing it for six weeks!
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Those 3,500 vibrators were just laying on the side of the road!
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Well last time when I used the hot/wet vac to try to suck it up you got mad at me about that too.
I mean … it DID get clogged and then start spewing hot-caramel-water all over the kitchen (and somehow bathrooms 🤷♂️).
But …
Yeah.
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This is why I am the Poet Laureate of Ketha Lowlands Community College AND the writer in residence for Woodstock, New Brunswick.
That second one is a long story.
Actually so is the first.
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YEAH! Like the titstroke!
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They said I’m better at eating ass than toes!
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Yeah! Those guys get it! The horse has many ways to be ridden to the tavern.
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Wait, I thought I wasn’t allowed to eat Pat’s toes anymore.
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Yeah, you gotstago harder and deeper and faster and stronger!!!
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Ah, the ARBITER OF SUCKSEXSION will make ALL clear!