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crococo.bsky.social
i wish i could change my Social Security number. 436-67-4245 just isn't *fun* enough, ya know?
945 posts 1,242 followers 1,989 following
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Posts 33 Comments 17

maybe i should stay away even longer, give y'all more time

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

maybe the Mission Impossible folks should try a possible mission so they can stop making these fucking movies

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

the coexist font, closely related to Wingdings, is named "Wingnuts"

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

damn bluesky still hasnt got rid of the glitch where my posts are bad

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

"Turn that frown upside down" i.e. i'm going to give you a St Peter crucifixion

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

How to slack off at work (a thread) Make coffee as a way to procrastinate Talk constantly to your coworkers about the dangers of AI so they won't suspect that you're using it to do your whole job (and they won't steal your idea) 1/5 (cont'd)

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

oh goooddddddddddddd. goody.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

conversely, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man ejaculates a substance that looks like human flesh

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

when visiting a hotel, avoid contracting bedbugs, unless you're prepared for the responsibilities of pet ownership

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 7 days ago • 112 comments

all children born after 2019 start life with 200 unread emails in their inbox

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

aw, it's so considerate of the genociders ❤️

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

hey everyone listen up to the guy who thinks he can turn crackers into human meat www.irishstar.com/news/us-news...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

if we all ran, at the same time, in the same direction, against the earth's rotation, we could change the rotation direction, make time go backwards, and start to reverse the devastating effects of climate change but i guess humans are just too stupid to do that

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

i told the crying child that the circus clown's legs were long like that because he had been strapped to a rack and tortured by the mafia over gambling debts thus stretching them. i didn't want the kid to grow up with an irrational fear of stilts.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

i started my boxing career to get cauliflower ear but it's not as delicious as it sounds

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

if i was a medieval royal food taster, i'd pretend to drop dead from poison anytime there was a good meal, then later eat it out of the garbage after the king threw it away. especially if it was pizza. or taco bell.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

do panic attacks count as cardio?

submitted 9 days ago • 29 comments

brb gotta go change my profile name

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

forget ballpoint, i want ovarypoint pens. i'm signing these documents by smearing eggs all over them

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

people were always laughing at my larger frame. but when we were stranded in the mountains after a crash landing, no one was laughing, because they picked me to eat first, and their mouths were full.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

thank you for making me think of Joe Biden's prostate. it had been a couple of hours since i thought about Joe Biden's prostate.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless

submitted 10 days ago • 466 comments

just found out that bluesky isn't an AI game and im regretting some of my interactions

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I can't top this one.

submitted 11 days ago • 295 comments

boomer pope drank from the hosanna

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

my work here is dumb

submitted 14 days ago • 8 comments

Expressing myself one deleted post at a time.

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

seriously. i'm smh at how many people on this platform give a shit about who the new CEO for the world's largest child abuse organization is.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

big bright red dot on the Megan's Law website for Vatican City rn

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

alcatraz is is a fictional prison what does he think dementors are real too

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

i know it's considered lazy but next holiday season, i'm just getting everyone a christmas ball. it's got everything you like about christmas, just squished into a sphere that fits in the palm of your hand

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Grindr

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments