crococo.bsky.social
i wish i could change my Social Security number. 436-67-4245 just isn't *fun* enough, ya know?
955 posts
1,243 followers
1,990 following
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you can tell from their goth make up and doc martens
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challenge accepted
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how i met your mother
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you can tell they've gone bad if their necks are red
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"i had a dream about the apocalypse last night" <-- worse
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this piggy liked to fight
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Win the lottery, then give all your money to the company's shareholders so they finally have enough and won't make you work as hard
5/5
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Replace everyone's mouse with a mouse
Fire drill? Fire real.
Lean a tuba against your office wall. If people ask why you didn't complete a task just point to it and say "Sorry, I had tuba practice." They'll understand.
4/5
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Tell people you need to summon the Great Ancient Ones for advice every time they ask you something. They'll get tired of all the goat sacrifices real quick.
Spike the water cooler with LSD. Nothing cancels that afternoon meeting faster than your boss being fascinated by an awesome leaf.
3/5
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Never wash your hands after using the bathroom so you'll get pink eye. “Sorry, I can't go to that meeting. Pink eye.”
Train a monkey or a very smart dog to turn the crank for you all day. Why oh why did you major in Crank Turning?
2/5
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i had a stroller, but i guess i was just leasing that from my parents
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Matt Damon, smiling for a promo: "You have the right to get <bleep>ed!"
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::sad honk::
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sorry i meant to say "legally change my name"
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sometimes you need to make sacrifices for the greater good
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does the flap have a technical name? because if not i would submit "Mr. Flappy" into consideration
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i dunno... i'm skeptical, that kinda almost sounds like a lesson and i don't like it
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right, first question: are you feeling okay?